December 28, 2007
Come on, y'all
It's not everyday I would blog this BUT... Jessica Simpson and Luke Wilson's Blonde Ambition lackluster has been leaked online. (It's rather slow in the Web department today.) The film's stats: opened in eight theatres in Texas, grossed $1332 in three days... SO, only 6 people paid to see it in each of the 8 theatres. Somehow, this is not a record.
December 28, 2007
How to photoshop Slop Culture’s favorite celebs into the season’s top 10 blockbuster movies:
10. Shave Publicly: The Britney Spears Story. This piece says, “Why bother seeing the film? Pink is the New Blog is the real thing, bitch.” A no brainer. Ha ha ha.
9. Here, I took a risk, choosing to depict the Spears mother-daughter trio and spawn, rather than Jamie Lynne and her baby daddy in the already much circulated Ellen Page/Micheal Cera still. This to me seemed the more realistic approach, as I am yet uncertain of the identity of Jamie-Lynne-Spears’s baby daddy.
8. Little Miss Ex-O.C. and her DUI in The Moral Compass.
7. This picture doesn’t make immediate sense.
6. P.S. I Love Fergie
5. I planned to use Ken Paves for this piece, the hairdresser who singlehandedly butchered Britney Spears’s singing career when he refused to do her hair. But this version worked so much better. Who cares about Ken Paves? He's only famous because of Jessica Simpson, anyway. I call this one Jessicy Todd: The Demon Barbarella of Los Angeles.
4. Angie wishes she was Julia Roberts.
3. Alba and the Chipmunk Baby on the Way
2. Record sales and Oprah are not things of Christmas past. Josh Groban is Legend.
1. National Treasure: Book of Secret Family Strife
December 19, 2007
Let them eat babies!
It's all over the news.
December 19, 2007
OMG that Britney, shameless
Detailed commentary to come...
December 14, 2007
OOOH LA LA
The trailer for Sex and the City: The Movie arrives... and I've watched it so much I almost forgot to blog... [insert french/NYC accent here] I love it!
December 14, 2007
Online Videos by Veoh.com
I'm trying to decide what's more exciting: this clip, the Backstreet Boys reunion performance, yesterday — for 30 or so people at Boston Billiards— or the slight, somewhat unbelievable, chance that Britney Spears's Piece of Me video will debut tonight on 20/20.... Welcome to my/the/ bizarro/f-ed up world.
Like, what?
December 10, 2007
So for real
The Hills finale is tonight. And even famous people watch it. (Well, Mila Kunis isn't that famous. But who can forget James Franco as Justin Bobby in a very bad wig?)
James Bobby
December 04, 2007
In honor of all things boob-related happening this week (see below), Slop Culture presents photo story boob-related time:
I want to forgive you, boobs, for being so small. And the I want to forget you and take it all off anyway!
...Jason could probably hang this in his Jail cell.
Who's thinner now, Heidi?
Guys, I've been doing this for sooo long. I really really need you to make these look like the thinking-woman's boobs. I really like the eyeball design, it really makes my boobs look deep.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
An internal hum: These boobs were made for robbing/ And that's just what they'll do/ One of these days these boobs are going to roooooob... Hugh.
I love you, Puffin!
I just think boobs are so magical, and special, and really, a gift from magical, special people. So, I'm going to wear this outfit to let Hugh know that. It's gonna be soooo fun.
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on CBS TONIGHT.
The Girls Next Door season premiere on E! SUNDAY.
The Hills season finale on MTV NEXT MONDAY.
Lauren Conrad on the January 2008 cover of Shape Magazine.
IT'S BOOBASTIC!
December 03, 2007
I get it. People Grow Up. It can sometimes feel very drastic and unsettling, though. Especially with Katie Holmes. And especially when you see her grow up on a show like Dawson's Creek, which you watch religiously even after the first season which was the only good season, because the music tells you how to feel and the romance stuff, albiet cheesy, is pretty firey, and sad-sack Dawson and PO'd about life Joey sort of remind you of yourself and your boy BFF in high school, but not really, because you never went out, and you didn't like him like that, anyway.
Okay, look. It's not just the new hair, which has fully evolved from girl-next-door longish-blowsy to clipped, impossibly-sleek-beyond-words, Posh Spice Bob But With Bangs. It's not just her wardrobe, which began with clunky AE-ish sandal wedges and ill-fitting boyfriend jeans and now feature white pantsuits, ball gowns, and crazy-fabulous gold sequin capelets that look like a disease devouring her neck. Or her overall demeanor, from sweet and innocent to robotic-sultry and oddly lifeless. It's not just the men, cycling through poor Joshua Jackson, on to lady-eater Chris Klein and now...well, you know who she's with now. It's everything. It's all of that and more. Katie has gone from 14 to 40 in about a year's time. It disturbs me beyond the point that it should, and because I devote a good portion of my life to useless ephemera like this, I feel the need to document it here for posterity. Today is the day that I quit you, Kate. If that's even your real name.
December 03, 2007
Happy 26th birthday. You're not the dumbest!
Dear Britney,
Happy birthday. You're not number one.
Love,
New York Daily News
