October 31, 2006
On tonight's episode of
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, the show that in the past has done gimmicks like an all-claymation show and a show with an audience full of 9-year-olds, everyone will be a skeleton - the band, the guests, the audience. The show was taped a while back and then redone with the digital skeletons. As a bonus, one of the guests is Larry King. Should be fun to watch while plowing through the candy you didn't give to trick-or-treaters.
October 31, 2006
While you were preparing your
Steve Irwin costume for tonight, Bob Barker was busy telling the Associated Press he'll be
retiring next year. Good for him, we say.
"Get your pet spayed or neutered"
October 30, 2006
Apparently you can't have too many movies based on the same video game.
Variety is reporting that
Street Fighter, previously adapted into a terrible 1994 film starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ming-Na, Kylie Minogue (
seriously,) Wes Studi, and, in his final film role, Raul Julia,
is being adapted into another movie, this one written by someone who's currently working on
a Voltron movie.
What could possibly go wrong? Other than a redux of this:
(Also, more to come on the Phillippe/Witherspoon split tomorrow)
October 27, 2006
Chuck Norris, about whom
you may have heard some things, has launched a conservative, hardcore Christian column on
WorldNetDaily. In the inaugural edition, he addresses some of the Chuck Norris Facts, and
takes issue with quite a few:Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."
There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other
disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did.
His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.
If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.
At least he didn't try to write it in Aramaic.
October 24, 2006
Just because it's local, doesn't mean it's good. Here's two bald guys trying to make sense of Game six of the 1986 World Series, placing the blame on Calvin Schiraldi in a conspiracy theory rant.
October 19, 2006
Oh, so this what pure and unadulterated joy feels like.
Our top three looks from Jeffrey's show. I want that party dress and those skinny jeans in my life asap. And blah blah re: all this nonsense about the PJ producers having to pick someone with a good story. He is a recovering alcoholic and loves his son. Big deal. Nothing but love.
Some other thoughts:
Of course Allison should have been in the top four. We don't know what the hell was up with her cut. We're moving on, and we wish her luck. She's ridiculously cute and mega-talented. We'll see her again.
Laura's husband looks like a cross between Orville Redenbacher and Mr. Peanut.
That shot of Angela in the audience was bone-chilling. She needs to go away. Now.
Michael, you disappointed America. Go have fun with your $10,000 viewer's choice award and your eternal popularity. We like you, at any rate. You will probably bring the sexy back for a lot of street-savvy girlies. We don't know what the shit you were doing with that sheer gold equin emblazoned cowboy shirt, but Brokeback Mountain style doesn't work for the ladies (unless they want to be mistaken as hookers). Frankly, that thing nearly blinded us. Please, go back to sportswear.
Uli...Uli, Uli, Uli. We just really like saying your name. Your collection was as expected. Yawn. Nina Garcia splooged all over it. Have fun cleaning that up. People are saying you ought to have won.
You didn't, though. You're no Jeffrey.
Making it work!
Making it work!
-- Sharon Steel, special to Slop Culture
October 14, 2006
This is so asinine it hurts. Zucker, the man behind Naked Gun, whipped up this ditty for the GOP. Now the GOP is backing off, and just happy for the the thing to go viral. So yes, once again, we are part of the problem. Is this Rove's October surprise?
October 12, 2006
Adam Gadahn went from a guy who would you'd see at Bunratty's to a hipster you would see at to Great Scott's. He is the first American to be charged with treason since WWII. And he still can't grow a decent beard.
October 10, 2006
You wouldn't be able to keep a straight face either if you just made 1.6 billion dollars.
October 09, 2006
These are the two most viewed photos on Yahoo today. The photo below, of Kim Jong "license to" il, clocks in at five. He only set off an atomic bomb over the weekend and may end all life as we know it. But hey, at least the guy looks like he eats a Snickers once in a while.
October 05, 2006
With artielangedeathwatch.com no longer updating (the site's explanation: "While this started out as a goof, as Artie's life falls apart, it becomes less funny."), Slop Culture will pick up the mantel. As of today, he's still not dead.
"When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life."
October 03, 2006
The videotape unearthed by the Sunday Times showing two of the Sept. 11 hijackers smiling for a camera, offers clues to the motivations of the hijackers.
It appears that Mohamed Atta could not grow a real beard. Seriously, what a shitty, shitty, Allston-Brighton Hipster beard this assface was sporting. No wonder he was so pissed. So this douchebag shaves off the beard, comes to America, attends our flight schools, patronizes our wonderful strip clubs, eats our delicious Pizza Hut pizza, shops at our convenient Wal-mart and then goes out and performs the biggest terrorist attack on US soil.
Ziad Jarrah, who piloted Flight 93 (otherwise known as the "tremendous failure which made Allah very upset"), is also on the tape.
Though the United States Intelligence community was unable to decipher what the men are saying on the tape, the crack staff at Slopculture was able to cull a few phrases from the video, which is dated Jan. 18, 2000.
"Goat" "Fucker" "I fucked a goat" "I was drunk" "That wasn't a goat" "Come to think of it, my ass hurts, too"
We're still working on the syntax.
October 02, 2006
As Manchester City is the official sister team of the Red Sox (their rival is the hated Manchester United, a club in bed with the Yankees), we'd like to show you Joey Barton mooning the fans at Everton in last Saturday's game. Also, check out Micah Richards' game-tying volley in the 94th minute.
October 02, 2006
Peanut Butter and Jelly. Bert and Ernie. Alcohol and television. They all go great together, and they all take the pain away. But how do you know when to drink and when not to? Most people go all willy-nilly, drinking their 40s at the most inoportune times. If only there was a guide to tell people when to drink while watching TV.
Grey’s Anatomy Drinking Game
Whenever Derek is placed between Addison + Meredith -- take a shot
Anytime a character says “seriously” -- drink a shot of Pabst
Any time Meredith does a voice over explaining why it’s all so meaningful -- drink during its duration
Any time Dr. Bailey verball absues of the intern team -- drink, give Nazi salute
Everytime Denny is mentioned -- chug a beer, pass out cold
Grey's Anatomy Insider has a more straight forward game. They also have more time on their hands.
The Office Drinking Game
Drink each time:
Jim looks at the camera after someone says something uncomfortable
Dwight says the word “question” or references his hunting and martial arts skills
Michael says something racially insensitive
Michael says something to sexually insensitive
For the duration of any of Kelly’s ‘rants’
Every time Crede appears on screen.
Project Runway Drinking Game
Take a drink every time Tim Gunn says one of his catchphrases and it feels like he’s only saying them because it’s now expected of him.
We are now looking for DeGrassi and South of Nowhere tips.
