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In lieu of a review of Metallica's throwbackish new single , which has bitterly divided staff opinion, we'd been amusing ourselves by making up (a la the New Yorker 's caption contest) snarky new song titles suggested by this photo -- an image...
We've been anticipating/dreading the leak of the new METALLICA single for weeks -- god, it can't be any worse than St. Anger , can it? -- and we can't say that we're heartened by the fact that the band is rolling out its American tour...
25. Pantera's Vinnie Paul -- no doubt thinking about Hendrix's guitar and that Sgt. Pepper drum -- auctions his oven on Ebay.
24. Miley Cyrus comes thiiiiiiiiiiiis close to a Vanessa Hudgens moment: wet T-shirt pix from hacked phone leaked to internet.
23. Harmonix employee recorded spilling details of Chinese Democracy; YouTube commentors beg for video to be taken down so he isn't fired.
22. Scott Storch in real-life version of Steve Martin's The Jerk.
21. Timbaland, who must be laughing his balls off at #22, on producing next Jay-Z album: "Some of the songs gonna sound like M.I.A. would rap on some of the beats. You gonna be like, 'Whoa!' But it's Jay on 'em. That means it reaches everywhere. I'mma have songs with bagpipes."
20. New Metallica album cover looks a little bit like a coffin, a lot liTuke a vagina.
Much more after the jump >>>...
