Every news story should be accompanied by a reaction by Dawson's Creek star James Van Der Beek. Always. Struggling newspapers take note. Fortunately for us, Van Der Beek has created James Van Der Memes, and they're taking the world by storm! And so, we present "The News, with James Van Der Beek."

PLAYING FAVORITES
5 years ago
April 25, 2003 | Brent Kendall analyzed how a presidential candidate’s declared “favorite book” can affect his campaign chances.
“The 2000 election demonstrated precisely how candidates' book choices play right into the media's preconceived storylines--for better and for worse.

RAIN ON THEIR PARADE
5 years ago
February 21, 2003| Seth Gitell wondered if the imminent invasion of Iraq could turn into a quagmire of urban combat like the 1993 debacle in Mogadishu, Somalia.
“There are scores of optimists (mainly in the Pentagon) who believe the Iraqi army will evaporate into the ether. According to this optimistic scenario, the American entry into Baghdad will resemble the Allied liberation of Paris in 1944.

Wait for it . . .

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WORLD RENOWNED RECORDING GROUP AEROSMITH ROCKS THIS WAY TO GUITAR HERO®: AEROSMITH®
Epic Collaboration Creates First Music-Based Game to Feature One Band

Santa Monica, CA – February 15, 2008 – Fire up the fret board, crank the amp to 11 and get ready to rock this way with Activision, Inc.

As always, in times of trouble, trial, and tribulation -- no less THE SINGLE WORST LOSS IN NEW ENGLAND SPORTS HISTORY -- we look to . . . Hannah Montana. Oh, Miley, what would you sing to a town writhing in misery this morning? What have you for the vanquished 2007-08 New England Patriots, a team whose season is destined to replace "Casey at the Bat" as the tragic, cautionary sports tale of all time?