The News, with James Van Der Beek

Every news story should be accompanied by a reaction by Dawson's Creek star James Van Der Beek. Always. Struggling newspapers take note. Fortunately for us, Van Der Beek has created James Van Der Memes, and they're taking the world by storm! And so, we present "The News, with James Van Der Beek."

Dude: Four out of the six winning numbers in last night's Mega Millions drawing matched the numbers on Hugo "Hurley" Reyes's winning lotto ticket on Lost. Something tells us the DHARMA Initiative is behind this.

The 112th Congress is holding its first official meeting today. With a fake, possibly medicated smile plastered on her face, Nancy Pelosi handed over the gavel to new Speaker of the House John Boehner as Republicans flooded the legislature.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift have reportedly ended their contract... err split up, which we're sure has nothing to do with the fact that they're done promoting their latest projects:

Dreamy Justin Timberlake spent a whole lotta time naked on the set of Friends with Benefits:

Former Dawson's Creek star Michelle Williams - whose character Jen took Dawson's virginity - is getting rave reviews for her stellar performance in Blue Valentine, in which she gets it on with Ryan Gosling (and it's not nearly as hot as it sounds, folks, trust):

Alex Cavallo also contributed to this very important blog post.

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