In Impending End of Civilization news, the word around the Twittersphere [again] is that Jersey Shore's No.1 meatball is maybe, probably, most likely knocked up. Which is just the worst on so many levels. Assuming she manages to carry her gremlin spawn to term, the likelihood that this kid is not born pickled, with fetal gonorrhea syndrome (that's a thing, right?) and with physical and mental capacities bottoming out somewhere around the first couple of percentiles are approximately one million to zero.