"There's some backstage drama that you don't know about. I guess there's a problem with the wireless mics and they can hear what we're saying at The Color Purple!"

That was Kristen Schaal speaking to Eugene Mirman onstage last night at the Wilbur Theatre. The two were reconvening after their respective solo sets when Schaal delivered the news of the audio malfunction, presumably discovered while Mirman - he of the booming baritone - was on stage.

Five worst quotes we heard last night:

5. New York Times on Grandmama Obama:
"It's pretty amazing to see her as she sorts her corn on the ground."

4. Douchebag local radio interns, heckling Hillary:
"Iron my shirt!"

3. Bill Bennett on John McCain's unlikely comeback:
"Here's a guy who's 71 years old, a guy with broken bones, a guy who can't comb his hair."

It seems like the Heroes writers were so busy packing their premiere with plot that they neglected to consider that they were also making it unwatchable. A character had barely enough time last night to finish his/her lines before we were whisked off to the next character’s scene. Ok that’s an overstatement. But you get my point.