If we were to make a venn diagram of reality TV, er, personalities, they'd all fall into one of three categories: Insanely Hot and Vapid, Insanely Repulsive and Vapid, or....huh. It turns out maybe this is more of a pie chart than a venn diagram after all. And guess which slice of this unsavory pie our picks for Unsexy Reality Stars of 2011 these dudes fall into? There's nothing less sexy than whoring out yourself, those less fortunate, or your own family for a little, ok a lot of dough (damn that burns us up.

The Village Voice has helpfully obtained and annotated a copy of the contract that MTV's Real World contestants must sign -- it starts with signing your life away, and then gets crazier from there. According to the Voice:

"Under the stipulations of the following standard contract, participants in Real World--the grandaddy of "reality" shows, after Cops--agree to the following terms:

New Yorkers are dealing with a lot right now. It's only a matter of time until the hugliest combover in the annals of hirstute history is splashed all over the city in "Trump 2012" ads. And the Sox are about to break their slump, sending the Yankees wiping their $200 million tears all the way back to the Bronx after this weekend's home opener (fingers crossed!).

First of all, I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Adrienne Maloof. I mean, you're still both absurdly annoying and absurdly rich. And all you really brang to the show were a few cringe-inducing frames of your frozen feline face. But you could easily be a part-time supermodel in comparison to the latest mug Bravo has assaulted my poor peepers with.

Two years after Ken Tremendous shut down the site dedicated to the cause, the Times reports that ESPN has fired Joe Morgan. Or "declined to renew [his] contract," according to the Times. Jon Miller's destination is still unclear, though the network has decided to move on from the team for the Sunday night baseball broadcasts.

You rushed to his support when NBC yanked the Tonight Show gig out from under him. You followed his Twitter feed. You packed sold-out venues across the country to watch him recycle a few bits from Late Night and sing a straightforward rendition of "The Weight" (or so I heard; I wasn't there or anything).

Don Draper's future wife is a vampire!

And with that, we end the fourth season of Mad Men, the best season in my estimation since the first - although I'm sure I said the same thing after the end of season three, also. I've got a longer, spoiler-heavy preamble than usual this week, so those who haven't seen the episode yet may want to head elsewhere for a little bit.

We've got one episode left in this season of Mad Men, and there is still quite a bit to be resolved. We will be here to talk about it around 12:30 (for those of you stuck at work or spending your Columbus Day in front of your laptops) along with the rest of the week in television - it seems to me that the fall season has actually been a bit underwhelming thus far, no?

You may or may not know the drill by now: come by this space around 12:30 to discuss the week in television. We're doing it this way (still a bit tentatively) so we'll all have things to talk about after this season of Mad Men wraps in three weeks.

A thought for this week: back during the first season of Mad Men, creator Matthew Weiner was reported to have said something about envisioning the series going only five seasons.

Step right up, folks, and get in on our live discussion of recent developments in the world of television! With the fall season premiering this week, we thought we'd try something a bit different - instead of limiting our discussion exclusively to Mad Men, we're opening it up to happenings on any show. Stop by and let us know your thoughts on the premiere of Boardwalk Empire, or last week's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, or this week's debuts (including Lone Star, Running Wilde, S#*! My Dad Says, Hawaii Five-0, Detroit 1-8-7) and returns (such as Community, How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Modern Family, House, The Office, and 30 Rock.)

Or, we'll just talk about old episodes of The West Wing. We're easygoing.

This post should probably just be called "This is Why You're Fat, America" because, well, this is why. Introducing the TV Hat. The portable television appendage that latches onto your face in a manner akin to the extraterrestrial parasite in Alien, thereby impregnating you with all the reality TV muck you can consume.

Conan O'Brien, who has been keeping busy via Twitter and a live show since getting relieved of duty at his former job, will be returning to television this Fall. We all expected that much. But while most people were thinking he'd head over to Fox, O'Brien will instead do his new show on TBS. George Lopez is happily moving to midnight to accommodate him.

Every time I consider cancelling HBO, I'm stopped by one thought: "Isn't that David Simon show about New Orleans supposed to start soon?" And now that HBO has released a trailer for Treme (above) . . . there's just no way I can get rid of it now. Treme premieres on April 11, and stars Bunk, Lester Freamon, Khandi Alexander, Kim Dickens, Steve Zahn and John Goodman as various residents of post-Katrina New Orleans.

Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Apparently Jay Leno has been restored to the Tonight Show host's chair, leaving poor Conan O'Brien - whose Tonight run was admittedly ratings-challenged, but so was Leno's for a long time - out in the cold. So while Leno has been booking guests for his post-Olympics return (watch the promo!), Conan has been left to find ways around that clause in his settlement with NBC that prevents him from appearing on television until September.