The TV Hat: Bringing you your fave shows commercial, and glare, free

This post should probably just be called "This is Why You're Fat, America" because, well, this is why. Introducing the TV Hat. The portable television appendage that latches onto your face in a manner akin to the extraterrestrial parasite in Alien, thereby impregnating you with all the reality TV muck you can consume...on the go. Or not. Somehow I see this handy new device only contributing to the overall slothfulness of our population. Before the advent of this invention, (which is sort of like the classic Beer Helmet, but far less user-friendly) one had to stay at home to be a couch potato. Now, anyone who has $29.95 plus S&H to spare can sit back and watch the tube anytime they please. On a stationary bike, at a wedding, maybe even mid-coitus. (Actually, that might just be the ideal situation for which this miracle product was created. Your chosen partner isn't making you feel all that frisky this evening? Just pop your favorite porno into your trusty face-o-vision and have at it...hands free!) Erotic scenarios aside, the TV Hat might truly be the harbinger of our complete social downfall. Or next year's hottest holiday gift...it yet remains to be seen. As if the constant presence of mass media wasn't invasive enough, now we need to invite it camping? It seems we just might. We're not total haters, though; the choice of visor color and personalized 'neck protector' is appreciated.