I dunno why I didn't check a long time ago to see whether Larry
King was on Twitter.It just stands to reason, doesn’t it?After all, he
was Tweeting for many years before the phenomenon even had a name.King’s USA Today column was sadly dropped
eight years ago after a near-two-decade run, but in its heyday it was must-read
material — its “apparently aimless
concatenation of musings and meanderings, plugs, name-drops and nostalgia”
a veritable goldmine of bugfuck crazy stream-of-consciousness.Now, as
newspapers crumble into dust, the ageless windbag has taken to the tubes, and
his Twitter feed is rekindling a delightful
nostalgia for that old newsprint showcase of quick-hit, ellipses-pocked cerebration about celebrity and other sundry nonsense.
(Archived versions of the column are tough to find online, but for those who
haven’t had the pleasure of reading it, let’s just say that this dozen-year-old Onion
parody is not too far off the mark.)Here are
some of our favorites so far...
kingsthings David Cook, Heidi & Spencer, and Jeff Foxworthy tonight.wouldn't that make for an interesting dinner party? 15 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings only in Las Vegas can you see Cher, Bette Midler, Britney Spears and Madonna all in one night … and they’re all the same guy. 18 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings Conan just did a bit on me as a "Transformer" -- I love all those late night guys! 27 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings talked to Mike Wallace (60 Minutes) today.He's 91, retired & in Martha's Vineyard -- great to hear his voice.He's one of my favorites. 29 Jun 2009 from web
kingsthings this just in from the water cooler...we need more water! 03 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings Happy Birthday @PeteWentzand congrats on 600,000! 05 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings The remake of the Taking of Pelham 1,2,3 is a topnotch thriller.The best is years…Denzel Washington & John Travolta are superb. 05 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough” -Mae West 11 Jun 2009 from web
kingsthings children are being abducted and forced to fight as soldiers. @petewentz & @icTRI are on tonighthttp://tinyurl.com/h7fjc 02 Jun 2009 from web kingsthings They never get the credit they deserve, but jockeys are the best athletes in all of sports. 03 Jun 2009 from web
UPDATE! My estimable colleague Ryan Stewart reminded me this morning of this late-'90s Norm Macdonald bit from SNL.