R. Kelly is re-Trapped in the Closet

Published Feb 11 2010, 05:22 PM by Alexandra Cavallo

At a time when some celebrities are leaping out of the closet, jazz fingers poised, one lone artist is boldly retreating back inside. That individual, of course, is venerable R&B trailblazer R. Kelly -- a man who knows no boundaries. No, really, none. Having recently added "yodeler" to his extensive and utterly bizarre resume of accomplishments, Kelly has announced he's returning to Trapped in the Closet.

At this point, 22 chapters deep, Trapped in the Closet is an epic on par with the freaking Odyssey. Although we're pretty sure none of Homer's work included pants-shitting midget strippers, bisexual philandering spouses, or thoughtful men wielding Berettas and clumsy rhyme schemes.

And though we've come to accept the fact that no amount of pimp-midget-and-cherry-pie-drenched insanity will ever be enough to slake our insatiable desire for new Trapped in the Closet material, we're mighty pleased with this new development. In a recent video, a nattily dressed Kelly revealed that he had just finished 15 more chapters of the saga. However, he's not going to release the new installments until he's absolutely sure that "this is what you guys want from me." It is! We can only imagine what treats, what fancy, these unseen chapters might contain. Machete fights? Conjoined-twin voodoo priestesses? Maybe he'll cram in a quick donkey show? The sky's the limit, when you're dealing with a man who believes he can fly.

Filed Under: R. Kelly, Trapped in the Closet

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2 Comments

Sha'kira chapple said:

Well, when it first came out i saw it. I have been checking on it ever since. But I don't understand what's the hold up, I understand that you have a life to. BUT RELEASE IT ALREADY! You can always make more chapters. The package can be anything. Most people think that it's aids. Well if it is that was to easy. The first set of chapters been release long ago, people are going to stop worrying about. Though, I know that you have many fans that would not. Im currently in school right now, checking on This. PLEASE RELEASE IT BY MAY .

February 23, 2010 10:40 AM
Anthony said:

man hell yeah i really love that stuff kells man that whole thing b having goin crazy man keep goin with tha song man plzz

March 6, 2010 12:22 AM

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Filed Under: R. Kelly, Trapped in the Closet

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R. Kelly is re-Trapped in the Closet

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Sha'kira chapple said:

Anthony said:

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