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0909_eugene-lits

America's scam

Eugene Lockhart funds his own buyout. Plus, why do pro athletes hate cabbies?
What a year for former New England Patriots and the criminal-justice system!
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 09, 2009

Junction Trattoria and Bistro

Peerless pizza and much more
On a recent rainy Friday evening, we were calling around for a place to eat dinner. One restaurant had no reservations till 9 pm (it's still tourist season); another was farther away than we'd realized, and we might end up eating at that same hour.
By JOHNETTE RODRIGUEZ  |  September 09, 2009
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Fall guys

As summer winds down, sports crime picks back up
No shortage of sports-crime activity this week — in fact, it's been an extremely busy time, so much so that it's worth a bullet-point to get to some of the developments in brief.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 02, 2009

Onward, Christian governor!

Carcieri gets "loose"; plus, farewell to Tedy, and mind-boggling Bush
It's nice to see Governor Don "Laughing Boy" Carcieri loosening up by sharing the real Donnie Boy with the people of Vo Dilun. Initially (certainly in his first campaign for governor in 2002) Don tried to come across as a moderate conservative, not unlike his immediate predecessor, Linc Almond.
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  September 02, 2009

Crossword: ''From A to B''

It's a short trip
It's a short trip
By MATT JONES  |  August 19, 2009
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Going streaking

Snapping out of the annual NFL training-camp lull. Plus, Plaxico Burress gets his.
It has been an unusually quiet week or so in sports crime, which is perhaps not unexpected, since this is the one time of year when the most arrest-prone class of athletes in America — NFL players — are sequestered in training camps and usually too dog-tired from two-a-days and running suicides to bother to punch out bar skanks or kick in police cruiser windows.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 12, 2009
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Stopping Traffic

The Fighting Sioux clean out the garage. Plus, quincy carter continues his slide.
North Dakota might not be the first place you think of when it comes to sports crime, but if the players up there maintain their recent pace, we might soon be listing the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux alongside such infamous programs as the University of Miami Hurricanes and the Florida State University Seminoles.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 05, 2009
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Personal fouls

ESPN's odd double standard on sex
The biggest story in sports media last week was the discovery of surreptitiously shot nude-video footage of ESPN reporter Erin Andrews, whose comeliness has made her a favorite — and sometimes a fetish — of the online sports commentariat.
By ADAM REILLY  |  July 29, 2009
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Blue Hawaiian

Timmy Chang gets flagged for intentional grounding. Plus, a stabbing story and Bruce Smith's bad knees.
Remember Timmy Chang? You do if you're a college-football junkie — he was the quarterback for June Jones's University of Hawaii team, and ended his career as the NCAA's all-time leading passer.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 15, 2009
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The dark knight

Merry prankster Sir John Hargrave is a square peg at a round table
By his calling card alone, Sir John Hargrave sounds like he may be a world-renowned botanist, or the first man to set foot in some remote part of Papua New Guinea.
By IAN SANDS  |  July 08, 2009
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Send in the clowns

The wacky worlds of Michael Jackson and Ozzy Osbourne
The New York Post got to resurrect its priceless "Wacko Jacko" headline. Barbara Walters scored Super Bowl-level ratings without having to lift a pretty little finger. And Michael Jackson, well, no matter how you slice it, he got screwed royally.
By MATT ASHARE  |  July 02, 2009
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Getting the boot

The Seminoles do it again. Plus, will the real Vontae Davis please stand up?
Last month, we announced the triumphant return of the Florida State football program to the summit of the sports-crime world.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 01, 2009
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Blowin' in the wind

Ryan Leaf returns from exile. Plus, Missy Giove goes downhill fast, and Donte Stallworth gets sentenced.
There's going to be a lot of snickering and chortling this week after former-top-NFL-prospect-turned-galactic-draft-bust Ryan Leaf got arrested on drug and burglary charges.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 24, 2009
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Scammer solstice

Football meets fraud in Georgia. Plus, Wazzu wackiness, and Tim Donaghy gets busted up.
It's summertime, and the scammin' is easy. What else can explain the recent appearance of a former NFL player in court to face 22 counts of . . . wait for it . . . mortgage fraud!
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 17, 2009
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Immaculate reception

The New England Patriots played host to a very different out-of-towner last week, as the Dalai Lama made a most incongruous visit to Gillette Stadium
Two Saturdays ago, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama sat cross-legged on the 50-yard line and gently intoned that "the path to happiness in the individual and with society is through inner peace."
By MIKE MILIARD  |  May 13, 2009
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Whiz kids

Two Saints get caught sinning. Plus, swirling down the post-NFL drug-addiction drain.
The Sports Genius of the Week Award is actually going to be shared by a pair of now-former New Orleans Saints fringe-roster players, wide receiver Biren Ealy and tight end Kolomona Kapanui.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 13, 2009
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Cocaine blues

Jags great Jimmy Smith done in by illegal tint and an imaginary friend. Plus, the Nevada Wolf Pack goes down shooting.
Wow. That's all I can say after seeing the mug shot of former Jacksonville Jaguars star wide receiver Jimmy Smith, busted last week on pot and crack charges.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 29, 2009
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Conversation piece

Leon Johnson explains his trans-historical-post-colonial-dinner-wait-what?!
Leon Johnson explains his trans-historical-post-colonial-dinner-wait-what?!
By IAN PAIGE  |  April 29, 2009
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Shuffling off to infamy

Buffalo doesn't have a counterfeiting problem — but it does need to curb its bad Bills
Tasering Donte . Sounds like a movie title, doesn't it?
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 22, 2009
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Review: Big Fan

Run-of-the-mill, cheap laughs
"He's another Martin Scorsese!" crows mom when her son screens an awful ad for his ambulance-chasing law firm in this unimpressive debut from Robert Siegel.
By PETER KEOUGH  |  April 15, 2009
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Just like old times

Two sports-crime all stars get busted again. Plus, another Bengal drops the ball.
Well, it's been a few months, so it's about time to check in on our old pal Todd Marinovich.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 15, 2009



By  |  January 01, 0001
090410_cuss-lits

Another damn study

Timothy Jay, PhD, discusses words his colleagues won't
Some people argue that scholarly inquiry about profanity is pointless, and even laughable.
By CHRIS FARAONE  |  April 13, 2009
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NFL follies

Pro football gets tossed around. Plus, Kirk Snyder goes to the dentist.
Not only was Donte Stallworth officially charged with DUI manslaughter, but another former AFC East star, former Buffalo Bill running back Travis Henry, reached a plea agreement on drug charges.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 08, 2009
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Blue Balls

The word on the street is that sports are recession-proof — think again
It's one of the great myths of modern American life that, no matter what travesties befall us, sports will carry on unfazed.
By STEVEN STARK  |  April 15, 2009
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Strange tales

Deportation and baby-napping collide in Florida. Plus, a badger double DUI shakes up the Justin Miller Award standings.
Freaky. That's really the only word to describe the story of Amalia Tabata Pereira — the wife of top Pittsburgh Pirates prospect (and former Yankee farmhand) Jose Tabata.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 01, 2009
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Review: The Rocket that Fell to Earth

Roger Clemens's fall and rise and fall
On July 18, 1992, in a celebrated post-game meltdown at the Metrodome in Minneapolis, the pitcher formerly known as the Rocket expressed his displeasure over a column I had written.
By GEORGE KIMBALL  |  April 01, 2009

1. Rush Limbaugh

JABBA THE NUT
America’s ugliest moment of 2009? Rush Limbaugh, his man-boobs a-jiggle, bouncing at the CPAC podium to bask in the sickly glow of conservatism’s orgy of greed, avarice, and arrogance. Here, at last, was the shining image of the 21st century Republican Party: a leeringly rich Baby Boomer squatting at the top of the mountain, reaping his jollies from the suffering of those at the bottom, praying for the failure of hope. If this hypocritical and morally repugnant reformed Oxy junkie wants to discuss “failure,” maybe we should talk about his career as an NFL commentator — or the last time he detoxed off prescription smack.
By Boston Phoenix Staff  |  March 25, 2009

16. Plaxico Burress

MENTAL-MIDGET GIANT
How does a man who catches things for a living lose control of a loaded Glock? Ever the overachiever, New York Giants wide receiver Burress was unsatisfied with the mere unsexiness of wearing sweatpants to a nightclub, and compounded the embarrassing phallic clichés about men and their guns by having the pistol in his pants pop a little early. While no Ron Mexico, Burress remains a limping monument to near-fatal stupidity.
By Boston Phoenix Staff  |  March 25, 2009
090327_blotter_lits

Sports blotter: Donte's inferno

Ex-Patriot Stallworth makes the mistake of his life. Plus, if the judge won't do it, Roger Goodell will.
Let's just say this right at the outset: Donte Stallworth always seemed like a good dude.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 25, 2009

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