Room for improvement
What are
the odds that Manny comes back next year?
What does
this face (in reaction, of course, to the atrociously ugly blooper that can be viewed here) tell you?
If only it could be an animated .gif that would properly convey the disgusted shaking of his head.
Theo's icy glare does not inspire much confidence.
Nor does
the team’s play since the second half began.
The mood is
glum in Red Sox Nation. Luckily, the mood is ecstatic in Sea Dog Nation.
What does
it augur for a certain 71-year-old’s political future that the
arrival of Big Papi in the Pine Tree State is bigger news — much, much
bigger news — than the
arrival of John McCain?
Sox Blog’s home state is going completely
nuts for the guy. Hopefully his mighty arms will repay Portland's citizenry by
continuing his trend of unleashing
a massive clout each and every game.
Speaking of
Sea Dogs, I was able to attend most of a double-header at Hadlock on
Saturday as the Dogs took on the hated Trenton Thunder. A good time was had by
all, even if they dropped both games.
In
attendance near me was the estimable knight of the keyboard Hurdy
Chadwick, an upstanding citizen of Westbrook,
Maine, and one of the two
proprietors of Full Circuit
Clout, an informative and provocative blog in which the goings-on of the 2008 season are bruited about using language not
heard since the days of Nuf Ced McGreevy’s
Third Base Saloon. (The one in West Roxbury,
not the
one on Boylston Street.)
Like Sox
Blog, Mr. Chadwick is well angered by the sight of Manny Ramirez rolling
about on the grass like a friendly golden retriever, and of Alex Cora committing an
error that lead to four earned runs. And so, naturally is Hardy’s co-writer
at Full Circuit Clout, Stuffy McInnes.
Yesterday,
Mr. McInnes took it upon himself to convey his irritation to the Boston Boys via
transcontinental cable. Hopefully, his hopping-mad missive will inspire them to
get their dander up and play the grand game way the grand game should be played: in fine fettle
and fighting trim.
So chagrined am I by the dreadful
ball-playing of the local nine that last night I took a few coppers from my
recent winnings at the greyhound track (where else is a Rooter to spend time
during the All-Star Pause?) and dictated a Western Union telegram message
directly to the flannel-wearing flailers.
Herewith are the contents of the message.
It is my sincere hope that a chum of mine in the Anaheim clubhouse was able to deliver it in
time to set these boys onto the diamond in the proper frame of mind to secure a
“win” to-night.
NL 10:52PST 21JUL08.
BOSTON RED STOCKING BASE BALL CLUB
ANGEL STADIUM OF ANAHEIM, CALIF.
THE POOR QUALITY OF YOUR BALL-PLAYING IS
WAFTING A STINK OF FAILURE FROM THE WESTERN JET-STREAM STOP DERBYS EXHIBITION
GAMES AND LEISURE DAYS ARE OVER STOP MEANINGFUL MATCHES ARE NOW BEING CONTESTED
WHICH REQUIRE YOU TO RESUME EFFECTIVE TWIRLING CAT-LIKE GLOVEWORK AND
PILL-PUNISHING CLOUTING STOP GODSPEED KNUCKLES WE HAVE FULL FAITH IN YOU
STUFFY MCINNES MAINE
Alas, his sincere hope went unfulfilled. Perhaps a visit with the cellar-dwelling seafarers of Seattle will be just what the doctor ordered.
If not, I shall be reaching for my bottle of Duffy's Pure Malt Whiskey.