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Maybe you were busy shoveling snow all week. Maybe you were
broken up over the resignation of the Pope. Partied too hard on Mardi Gras to
even think about Valentine's Day? That's okay. With this list of
off-the-beaten-path activities, your date will never know you dropped the ball.
Picking the music to set the right tone can be pretty
stressful. If that tired Manilow playlist is the best you can come up with,
consider letting these DJs take care of it:
"4 HOURS OF BUTTAH" :: Get down
with your bad self to R&B, love songs, and slow jams all night long spun by
DJ Knife, DJ 7L, and DJ Lily Hoffman-Andrews :: February 14 @ 10 pm :: $5 ::
Good Life, 28 Kingston St, Boston :: goodlifebar.com
And if you're just not that funny, and you
don't want your date to catch on, you can always check out these comedy shows:
"LOVE AND OTHER GATEWAY DRUGS" :: Because sometimes sex is funny, all
right? As is love, heartbreak, and all that jazz. The Asylum's main stage cast
pokes fun at all of it in their special Valentine-themed show :: February 14 @
7 + 9 pm :: $25 :: Improv Asylum, 216
Hanover St, Boston
:: improvasylum.com
CRAIG SHOEMAKER: THE LOVEMASTER'S VALENTINE SHOW
SPECIAL :: The American Comedy Awards winner for "Comedian of the Year" stops
in town for a stand-up Valentine's special :: February 14 @ 8 pm :: $25 ::
Wilbur Theatre, 246 Tremont St, Boston :: ticketmaster.com
Or maybe you guys just like to climb rocks. That's
cool. Boston Rock Gym's got you covered.
COUPLE'S CLIMB :: Relationships are hard work. So
is scaling a giant rock wall. Work on both at a special Intro to Indoor Rock
Climbing session for athletically inclined couples :: February 14-17; times
vary :: $16-$58 :: Boston Rock Gym, 78G
Olympia Ave, Woburn
:: 781.935.7325 or bostonrockgym.com
But wait! Maybe you're one of those people who
just can't STAND Valentine's Day, and you really want to spend all night
telling everyone around you why that is. Mingle with those who share
your contempt:
FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY :: As is their wont,
Bukowski's issues a big fuck you to the holiday du jour with a no-frills
anti-party for the lovelorn, cynical, and booze-thirsty. "No bullshit. Just drinking." ::
February 14 until close :: No Cover :: Bukowski Tavern, 1281 Cambridge St, Cambridge :: bukowskitavern.net
ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY AT DUCALI :: They're
screening re-runs of classic Bruins championship games and encouraging the
drinking of much beer and eating of much pizza at this Valentine's Day event
that has absolutely nothing to do with Valentine's Day :: February 14 until
close :: Free :: Ducali Pizzeria & Bar, 283 Causeway St, Boston :: ducalipizza.com
And last, but certainly not least, if you're single...
FLIRT FEST 2013 :: The name pretty
much says it all. As usual, they'll be crowning Boston's Biggest Male and
Female Flirt, so bring your A-Game :: February 14 from 7 pm to midnight ::
$14-$20 :: Bell in Hand, 45-55 Union St, Boston :: theflirtfest-es2002.eventbrite.com
...and upset about it:
2ND ANNUAL
ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY SOIREE :: Music for the broken-hearted provided by Parlour
Bells (acoustic set,) Ruby Rose Fox, and Shadewell with storyteller Brendyn
Schneider spinning yarns about love, loss, and other things :: February 14 @ 8
pm :: $12; $10 advance :: Lizard Lounge, 1667 Mass Ave, Cambridge :: brownpapertickets.com/event/325868
...or singularly liberal:
DATING WHILE PROGRESSIVE SINGLES PARTY :: Mix and
mingle with like-minded singles. Co-hosted by the Boston
chapters of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism and the New
Leaders Council, the Bisexual
Resource Center,
the Boston Queer Polyamorous Women's Group, and New Wave - Young Boston
Feminists. Conservative lonely hearts need not attend :: February 14 @ 6 pm ::
$5-$20 :: Lir Irish Pub & Restaurant, 903 Boylston St, Boston
:: bit.ly/WAXkaZ
...or French:
VALENTINE'S SPEED DATING . . . IN
FRENCH :: Parlez-vous français? Then you can participate in this speed dating
event for Francophiles while drinking French wine. Maybe you'll even score a
ménage à trios. . . . :: February 14 from 6:30 to 8:30 pm :: $15
:: French Cultural Center,
53 Marlborough St, Boston :: frenchculturalcenter.org
And there you have it. Happy Valentine's Day,
procrastinators! And you're welcome.
__By Lauren DiTullio
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