Reality tv = white slavery, Woman gives new meaning to "moneymaker"; It's Hammer Time for Vanilla Ice

Real Housewives say that filming their show is tantamount to "slave labor." If slave labor involved spending husbands' money on Juicy Couture track suits and throwing antipasto at each other's nose jobs. NAACP slightly miffed. Other housewives' reflections: bankruptcy, "normal." (celebuzz)

The cure for bankruptcy? Star in a tanning salon commerical, like Real Jersey housewife Teresa Giudices. Take that Obama, you and your silly tan tax! See you there, Snook. (celebuzz)

Woman steals 20 bucks not for crack but in her crack (and, ok, probably for crack) Some people are just so anal about money. She probably doesn't deserve such a bum rap. Maybe she should have gone to Fanny Maye for a loan, instead. Ok, we'll stop. (Daily Intel)

Which brings to mind: Philly woman steals man's flash drive following sticking inserting it into her vagina. Man wants personal files back. And, inexplicably, a second date. Rest of the world grateful for upgrade from floppies. (Gizmodo via Craiglist)

Vanilla Ice now plagiarizing Bob Villa. And he'll show you how to do it too...on a budget! (Perez Hilton)

Beach Boys wish they all could be California Girls...except for "California Gurl" Katy Perry. Her ass is getting sued. (NY Post)

 The original cop from the Village People wants to be the newest American Idol judge to replace Ellen...he says he's by far the most qualified. If that's as accurate as claims regarding the fun at the YMCA, we wonder exactly what he's been up to. (NY Post)

Prop 8 overturned: How many XOs does it take to properly articulate judicial and social justice? Whitney Port suggests 3. But that's a personal choice. Also Adam Levine and the state of California apparently share one very large schlong. (Celebuzz)

Thanks to social networking, leading a double life has becoming infinitely harder. Due to Facebook's lax privacy settings, a woman recently found out that her husband is also married to someone else. Worse yet: he "likes Dane Cook" and his other wife has more guppies in Farmville. (Yahoo News)

 --Alexandra Cavallo and Marianna Faynshteyn

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