10 Signs That You Might Have Swine Flu
10 – You coughed into your sleeve, but only after using your shirt to wipe a cream pie out of a dead hooker lying in the street.
9 – You’re a hip-hop kid who insists on wearing his facemask backward and to the side.
8 – You forgot to get your swine flu shot.
7 – The Big Bad Wolf keeps knocking on your door.
6 –You cornholed Porky at a fraternity pig roast last weekend.
5 – You’re suddenly not worried about traffic accidents, plane crashes, cranky postal workers, and domestic terrorism.
4 – Jokes about swine flu are not funny to you.
3 – Your name is Kermit.
2 – You’ve been to rehab more than once for a pork rind addiction.
1 – You’re the ONE person in this entire country who actually died of swine flu.
COMING SOON: 10 People Who I Hope Get Swine Flu