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Ten Subtle Ways To Tell Her She's Getting Fat?!, the neanderthalic website dedicated to teaching its self-proclaimed 7 million readers all about how to be as ball-scratchingly manly as they can be, has published the "Top 10 Subtle Ways To Tell Her She's Getting Fat." Because, surely, the men who visit are epitomes of physical perfection, and don't reek of Funions and failure as I had previously suspected. 

Ladies, I feel that you deserve a top ten list of your own. 




10. Point and laugh every time he takes his pants off.

9. Post a photo of it on reddit and let millions of other people tell him.  

8. Replace his jock strap with a jill strap. 

7.  Ask him "is it in yet?" every time you do it. Then yawn and check your Blackberry.

6. Slip Magnum XLs into regular wrappers. Look at him knowingly when he wonders aloud why the baggy condom is hanging off his package like a wet dishtowel.

5. Buy the biggest, blackest dildo you can find, and refer to it as "pipe dream." 

4. Keep a microscope on your nightstand.

3. Scream in pain every time you put a tampon in. 

2. Stare longingly at bananas while licking your lips and sighing, "That is one lucky fruit bowl."

1. Give him an adorable nickname like "Teensykins," "Baby Carrot," or "Amoeba Jones"




  • Robbie said:

    cruel freedom of speach is great but can be so cruel some women do put on weight as do men but to bash a man about his dick come on lets be origional buy the way I don't have a small dick you have a big pussy it's like flying a jumbo jet into the grand canyon. Now thats part of my list of subtel ways to let you know you have a big pussy. Hows that

    March 24, 2009 8:00 AM
  • FreedomDan said:

    Robbie, only a terrist would suggest flying a jumbo jet into our freedom filled Grand Canyon. Only a terrist with a tiny dick. Sneak onto mah property in  'bama and I'll exercise  my second amendment right to pump your liliputian penis so full of lead you'll be using it as a tiny over-sharpened golf pencil to write apology letters to all of humanity for your awful grammar.  

    March 24, 2009 11:59 AM
  • Turd_boy said:



    looks like the fellas over at askmen struck a nerve with ms. faith.

    the askmen list may have been politically incorrect, but at least their methods were actually subtle. Sara's list could more accurately be titled "10 over-the-top ways to tell your boyfriend he has a tiny dick"

    March 24, 2009 4:48 PM
  • Carla Cunningham said:

    I can relate to this article as I know from first hand experience just how hard it is to lose weight, and to maintain it. I wrote a book called Alone in the Storm, which has recently been published, and it is about an overweight woman who subconsciously put on the weight to protect herself from being hurt by love. She struggles with her weight issues, and in the end she manages to overcome them, but not before she learns some important lessons about herself and life.

    Carla Cunningham, Published Book Author of Alone in the Storm

    The website for my book is -, or if you’d like more information about my book you can email me at

    March 24, 2009 5:49 PM
  • the lulz said:

    Wow what a shameless plug, what gargantuan cohones you must have. Btw I wrote a book that has been recently published, I call it "opportunists that have to plug their crappy book on a lame blog" (name needs work) also , your all fat and have small wangs

    April 1, 2009 10:49 PM
  • Technohazard said:

    That's unfair - having a small penis is genetic. You can remedy obesity.

    If he had a small dick to begin with, you knew what you were getting yourself into the first time you slept with him. Whereas a guy dating a smaller girl is operating under the assumption she's going to at least maintain a somewhat-trim figure, as would be a reasonable expectation from her point-of-view as well.

    He wants you to improve - you're being cruel. I'd dump you for being a bitch - not being fat.

    April 1, 2009 11:44 PM

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