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Every Princess Begins Her Journey With a Dream!

Oh, Oscars! Movies, pretty dresses, a masturbatory ceremony, long commercial breaks, annoying jokes, weird panning shots into the audience of men wearing bronzer and ladies squeezed into Zac Posen gowns. Hurrah!

One thing about the Oscars, though: the swag. Even if you're a pitiful loser, everyone in attendance still walks away with a shit ton of free nonsense. Sneak peak alert, because I've just been given advance notice about one of the gifts that will be included -- see above -- Kirstie Kelly for Disney Fairy Tale Weddings jewels! Gasp. From the press release:

Every princess begins her journey with a dream. As a tribute to aspiring princesses who dare to dream, Disney and renowned designer Kirstie Kelly has been selected to participate in the official Distinctive Assets “EVERYONE WINS AT THE OSCARS!” gift bag for the 80th Annual  OSCARS® Awards to be held on Feb.24, 2008 at The Kodak Theater in Los Angeles and is scheduled to be broadcast live on the ABC Television network!

Nominated stars will walk away with a dazzling platinum finished chandelier filigree earring that is dripping with Swarovski crystals and freshwater pearls!  In addition they will receive the coveted Sticks n’ Stones bracelet, a platinum finish woodsy inspired cuff that is perfectly stoned with the most sparkling Swarovski crystals!  Retail value of approximately $595.00.

But you know what's even better than Kristie Kelly Disney jewelery? This weaponized, diamond engagement ring by subversive artist Toby Wong.

How GREAT would it be to be proposed to with one of these babies. Any boy who does this! Is! A Keeper! That diamond edge can CUT YOU down to the bone! Sadly, this will not be included in the Oscar grab-bag spectacular. It's a shame, really. That's totally a Tiffany design!

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