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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Between sunrise and sunset yesterday, at least two dozen people probed me about my thoughts regarding Kanye West. There were emails, texts, instant messages, and straight up phone calls; my father - with whom I have never discussed hip-hop - even hit me up for an opinion. Apparently few folks have paid attention to my rants for the past half-decade; I once called for terrorists to smear anthrax on Kanye CDs in order to euthanize planet hip-hop’s dumbest citizens.

Here’s what I told my mom, almost verbatim, causing her to hang the phone up: “You really want to know what I think, ma? I think Taylor Swift’s popularity aggravates me more than college kids who like Kenny Chesney. Neither her, nor Kanye, nor Beyonce deserve awards for the vapid junk they push on dummies who are too lazy to seek out authentic music. But that’s the hell I live in; I spend my career guiding readers toward real shit, and then they watch the Video Music Awards. What the fuck mom?”

Some of you are saying, “I understand if he doesn’t like Kanye as a person, but his music is pretty good.” No it isn’t. Rap pedestrians enjoy his hits for the same reason that rock amateurs like Vampire Weekend: they’re blinded by superficial pop aesthetics, completely unaware of how utterly unimaginative his generic samples and trite lyrics truly are. As for so-called hip-hop heads who support this hack-tacular megalomaniac: it’s funny how you criticize commercial rappers but step in line with every trend they dictate. Nice fucking neon sweatshirt.

There are also those of you who are posting status updates the likes of: “I’ve hated Kanye all along.” You’re full of shit. You were singing “Through the Wire,” Jesus-walking, and either not knowing or not caring that he ruined a good and decent Daft Punk song. I bet you think he was the first MC to rock Ralph Lauren. And guess what - in a few weeks your blinders will be back on. So please don’t waste my time; asking a legitimate hip-hop writer what he or she thinks about Kanye West is like asking Roger Angell for some musings on PlayStation baseball.

That’s all. I’ve always tried to treat Kanye West like 7-Up: I never have, and I never will. But from now on I’m going one step further; I will never write his name again. If he rapes Bob DeNiro on stage at the Oscars, I still won’t weigh in. So unless you want to talk about the new M.O.P., Raekwon, or Esoteric albums, don’t ask for my opinion. There’s too much phenomenal hip-hop out there for me to waste another breath on fraudulent practitioners.

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  • Lisa Spinelli said:

    LOL! Love it. However, I have to say Beyonce is the bomb and I'm not a pop-lover-- but seriously, you can't knock on that bootay. She's got it goin on son.

    September 15, 2009 12:00 PM
  • Carly Carioli said:

    All this time I thought neon was a bottom-up fad, not top-down. Damn.

    September 15, 2009 12:35 PM
  • Twitter Trackbacks for The Phoenix, Stop Asking For My Thoughts On Kanye West. But If You Really Must Know... - On The Download [] on said:

    Pingback from  Twitter Trackbacks for                 The Phoenix, Stop Asking For My Thoughts On Kanye West. But If You Really Must Know... - On The Download         []        on

    September 15, 2009 1:18 PM
  • kolby386 said:

    We, the Internet, would like to apologize for listening to "inferior" music.

    God forbid people listen to and like music just because it's catchy and enjoyable rather than listening to something they've never heard on the radio just because it makes their musical penis bigger.

    I hate to break it to you, but Beyonce has a gorgeous voice, and so does Taylor Swift, even though I despise her popularity just as much as the next guy.  Vampire Weekend has some catchy songs, even though they may not be of the greatest amount of musical notoriety.  Just because you think their music is inferior does not mean that it's not "authentic."

    In fact, I'd like to know what kind of music you think *is* authentic, and then I want you to tell me what the term "authentic music" even means.  

    Who are you, some random Internet blogger, to smite someone's artistry?  I may hate Taylor Swift's music, and I may despise the fact that she has so many fans, but that's the kind of music she makes, and apparently, there are people who like it.  So instead of telling people that it's not "authentic," trying to convince people that she only makes music for the money and fame, or that she's broken some sort of criteria that keeps her music from being "authentic," maybe you should more rationally voice your opinion by saying, "You know what?  I just don't like it."

    Your article was just as disrespectful to Kanye as he was to Taylor.  Why are you any better?

    September 15, 2009 2:08 PM
  • Boston Knucklehead said:

    At the end of the day it really doesn't matter what I think because I have heard like 5 songs come across Pandora today with his voice and my head was still moving to his beats. I did loose some respect for his recent fiasco. International super star or not there is something called class.

    September 15, 2009 3:35 PM
  • Mark D said:

    I don't think this guy has and family or friends. I hope you enjoy your Squeeze records by yourself.

    September 15, 2009 4:21 PM
  • Robert said:


    September 16, 2009 3:01 AM
  • Princess said:

    Kanye is an asshole for what he done, the fans voted for Taylor Swift to win. Nobody doesn't care about that slut Beyonce, I'm black and I love Taylor's music. It doesn't matter who don't like her music, the fact is, alot of people cussed Kanye out for what he had done to her (fans/celebrities) now that's alot of love, regarless if you don't like her music. How would you feel if he did that shit to yall and nobody didn't stand up for your ass? So don't go dissing Taylor, ain't nobody's fault that Kanye West keeps acting like a fucking baby over awards shows. He needs to grow up and be a man and keep his thoughts to himself, he's nothing but a bully. And it was good for Beyonce to let Taylor finish for speech at the end of the show. Another thing is why the hell did MTV even gave Taylor an award when she sings country music? not pop/rock/r&b music.

    September 17, 2009 3:42 AM

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