In Case You Forgot, Valentine's Day Is Tomorrow: Here are some last minute ideas for all y'all slackers

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Maybe you were busy shoveling snow all week. Maybe you were broken up over the resignation of the Pope. Partied too hard on Mardi Gras to even think about Valentine's Day? That's okay. With this list of off-the-beaten-path activities, your date will never know you dropped the ball.

Picking the music to set the right tone can be pretty stressful. If that tired Manilow playlist is the best you can come up with, consider letting these DJs take care of it:

"4 HOURS OF BUTTAH" :: Get down with your bad self to R&B, love songs, and slow jams all night long spun by DJ Knife, DJ 7L, and DJ Lily Hoffman-Andrews :: February 14 @ 10 pm :: $5 :: Good Life, 28 Kingston St, Boston :: goodlifebar.com

And if you're just not that funny, and you don't want your date to catch on, you can always check out these comedy shows:

"LOVE AND OTHER GATEWAY DRUGS" :: Because sometimes sex is funny, all right? As is love, heartbreak, and all that jazz. The Asylum's main stage cast pokes fun at all of it in their special Valentine-themed show :: February 14 @ 7 + 9 pm :: $25 :: Improv Asylum, 216 Hanover St, Boston :: improvasylum.com

CRAIG SHOEMAKER: THE LOVEMASTER'S VALENTINE SHOW SPECIAL :: The American Comedy Awards winner for "Comedian of the Year" stops in town for a stand-up Valentine's special :: February 14 @ 8 pm :: $25 :: Wilbur Theatre, 246 Tremont St, Boston :: ticketmaster.com

Or maybe you guys just like to climb rocks. That's cool. Boston Rock Gym's got you covered.

COUPLE'S CLIMB :: Relationships are hard work. So is scaling a giant rock wall. Work on both at a special Intro to Indoor Rock Climbing session for athletically inclined couples :: February 14-17; times vary :: $16-$58 :: Boston Rock Gym, 78G Olympia Ave, Woburn :: 781.935.7325 or bostonrockgym.com

But wait! Maybe you're one of those people who just can't STAND Valentine's Day, and you really want to spend all night telling everyone around you why that is. Mingle with those who share your contempt:

FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY :: As is their wont, Bukowski's issues a big fuck you to the holiday du jour with a no-frills anti-party for the lovelorn, cynical, and booze-thirsty. "No bullshit. Just drinking." :: February 14 until close  :: No Cover :: Bukowski Tavern, 1281 Cambridge St, Cambridge :: bukowskitavern.net

ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY AT DUCALI :: They're screening re-runs of classic Bruins championship games and encouraging the drinking of much beer and eating of much pizza at this Valentine's Day event that has absolutely nothing to do with Valentine's Day :: February 14 until close :: Free :: Ducali Pizzeria & Bar, 283 Causeway St, Boston :: ducalipizza.com

And last, but certainly not least, if you're single...

FLIRT FEST 2013 :: The name pretty much says it all. As usual, they'll be crowning Boston's Biggest Male and Female Flirt, so bring your A-Game :: February 14 from 7 pm to midnight :: $14-$20 :: Bell in Hand, 45-55 Union St, Boston :: theflirtfest-es2002.eventbrite.com

...and upset about it:

2ND ANNUAL ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY SOIREE :: Music for the broken-hearted provided by Parlour Bells (acoustic set,) Ruby Rose Fox, and Shadewell with storyteller Brendyn Schneider spinning yarns about love, loss, and other things :: February 14 @ 8 pm :: $12; $10 advance :: Lizard Lounge, 1667 Mass Ave, Cambridge :: brownpapertickets.com/event/325868

...or singularly liberal:

DATING WHILE PROGRESSIVE SINGLES PARTY :: Mix and mingle with like-minded singles. Co-hosted by the Boston chapters of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism and the New Leaders Council, the Bisexual Resource Center, the Boston Queer Polyamorous Women's Group, and New Wave - Young Boston Feminists. Conservative lonely hearts need not attend :: February 14 @ 6 pm :: $5-$20 :: Lir Irish Pub & Restaurant, 903 Boylston St, Boston :: bit.ly/WAXkaZ

...or French:

VALENTINE'S SPEED DATING . . . IN FRENCH :: Parlez-vous français? Then you can participate in this speed dating event for Francophiles while drinking French wine. Maybe you'll even score a ménage à trios. . . . :: February 14 from 6:30 to 8:30 pm :: $15 :: French Cultural Center, 53 Marlborough St, Boston :: frenchculturalcenter.org

And there you have it. Happy Valentine's Day, procrastinators! And you're welcome.

 __By Lauren DiTullio

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