Oh, word? "Texts From Bennett" might not be fake after all

When Texts From Bennett appeared, out of nowhere, like some boon from the gods of idiotically ingenious Tumblr feeds earlier this month, the interwebs blew the eff up with glee. Ourselves included.

But then the Smoking Gun had to go and ruin everybody's good time by reporting that Bennett was not, in fact, an actual 17-year-old wangsta and probable idiot savant, but the shrewd creation of David Sheldon a/k/a Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal. Major buzzkill.

Because don't we all want to believe that somewhere out there there's a white kid with a cell phone spewing out things like "dis bitch think i want her. she look like a vacum cleaner" (what does that even look like?! Big mouth?) and "wat da fuk. i hear about dis nigga marilyn monro who pull out his ribs so he can suk his own dik! how do i do it" like some sort of text-happy Rainman?

So, we were relieved when we read this recent interview with Sheldon in the Metro in which he basically says the Smoking Gun is full of shit and Bennett is the real deal. Thank the Tumblr gods. But how is it that Bennett (not his real name) hasn't stumbled upon one of the biggest memes since Double Rainbow? Says Sheldon "He's unaware of the blog. He lives in a low-income neighborhood called Argentine in Kansas City, KS, in Wyanndotte County. And he doesn't have the Internet. This is apparently surprising to people from outside the Midwest or aren't from areas that have low-income people."

And, ok, while this is some pretty depressing intel and sort of makes Bennett's poor grasp of grammar less hilarious and more of a testament to the sad state of the education system in Wyanndotte County, it's plausible. So, until we have some concrete evidence to the contrary, Bennett gets wise, or some Tumblr about cats who think they're dogs who think they're people who shoot lasers out of their butts comes along to distract us....Viva La Bennett!

Oh, bt-dubs., if you're looking for a last minute Christmas gift...looks like you can get your Hustla Da Rabbit t-shirts right hurr.


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