The Discovery Channel must be trying to take some of the heat off "Whale Wars'" Captain Pete Bethune
by instating a far-nuttier figure in their roster. That, or someone
slipped something funny into the network head's green tea at the last
creative meeting. Those are the only two explanations that we can come
up with for the creation of "Sarah Palin's Alaska," an eight-part nature
mockumentary documentary hosted by none other than the legendary igloo princess
herself. A nature program. Hosted and endorsed by a woman whose
ecological contributions to date include encouraging the systematic
slaughter of her home state's wolf population, publicly questioning the
existence of "that whole global warming thing," and campaigning for
invasive, habitat-ravaging oil drilling. She's not exactly Mother Earth,
is what we're getting at. She's not even Third Cousin Earth By Marriage,
Twice Removed and Now Estranged. Discovery used to be known for environmentally friendly shows (or at least
environmentally cordial... although Bear Grylls did seem to be
enjoying himself a bit too much that time he cuddled up inside a hollowed out camel carcass for protection), but it's really scraping the bottom of the crude oil barrel with this
one. According to their site, Palin's show will "reveal Alaska's
powerful beauty as it has never been filmed, and as told by one of the
state's proudest daughters." Huh. Fired-up ecological groups are currently petitioning
to have the show taken out of commission before it ever gets the chance
to air. (It's currently slated to run on TLC, as a Discovery
Communications presentation.)But Discovery isn't worried. They've got a back-up list of shows they're considering, should
Palin's eco-doc not work out. The front-runners include:"Population Control in an Urgent Age" with Octomom Nadya Suleman: Suleman is sent to China to report on their one-child policy.
"Exploring Israel" with Mel Gibson: Mel tags along on a birthright trip and... well, you get the idea.
"Protecting Our Deep Sea Friends" with Tony Hayward: Hayward hosts a Sunday morning children's program about marine life.
"Midwifery: Getting Back to the Basics" with Charles Manson: Charlie aids in home-births nationwide.
"Healthy Living: Naturally High on Life!" with Linday Lohan: Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse fill in as interim hosts.
"Global Warming: The Ozone Layer, UV Rays and YOU" hosted by the entire cast of the Jersey Shore: With guest host Teresa Giudice. A special report on the dangers of tanning and preventative skin care.
"Roman Polanski's Camp for Teenage Girls": There may be a few bugs to work out before this one is ready for cable.