The Perfect Christmas Gift for Neo-Conservative Toddlers

With godless liberals doing everything they can to undermine America, its citizens, the right to bear arms, NFL football, American Idol, and Christmas, it's time to put tomorrow's leaders on the right path (pun intended). That's why Katharine DeBrecht - author of the timeless youth classic Help! Mom! There are liberals under my bed! - has returned just in time for the holidays with her latest tale of left-wing lunacy.

Since kids these days won't stop asking about how Obama-care is going to cripple their financial futures, DeBrecht explains in a way that only she can how the government plans to take over lemonade stands (really - that was the basis of her last book). Only in this sequel, the antagonist-in-chief, one cleverly named Marxus Obundus, incites "something eerily similar to the current new Tea Party movement sweeping the nation."

In an age when liberals have stooped so low as to have Sesame Street characters unfairly blast the fair and balanced network that is Fox News, those of us with good sense and morals must indoctrinate our children against socialist forces that have consumed this country since you know who took office. Frankly - the way they teach kids to love and share these days is downright frightening. Do your part to prevent us from fully turning into a nation of compassionate pussies, and order Help! Mom! The radicals are ruining my country! for the future right wing senator or insurance industry lobbyist in your family.