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Matt Taibbi Smacks Goldman Sachs Silly

 

Since no self-respecting person would ever buy the new Rolling Stone (with the Jonas Brothers on the cover - for the second time in less than one year) in public, I thought I'd do the service of directing readers to the on line version of Phoenix columnist Matt Taibbi's ruthless Goldman Sachs takedown, "The Great American Bubble Machine."

I have a long history with Goldman Sachs, as I was fortunate enough to earn a scholarship to a fancy New England prep school. Several of my friends' parents cashed in off their fraud, and I'm proud to say that I stole from all of their houses. In college, I also named my weed business Goldman Sacks, so this is all a bit disheartening.

At this juncture, no act of corporate depravity could possibly surprise me. Nothing - not even if Jack Welch dug up Ray Kroc's corpse for a late night skull fucking. I used to call my dad a conspiracy theorist for arguing that the Bush administration was determined to bankrupt the country; now I know it's true. This article is just another reason to continue telling bill collectors that I really will hunt and murder them.

Finally - from what I can tell there are three types of people who are outraged about Taibbi's Goldman Sachs piece: gluttonous scumbags who scam to the tune of trillions; robotic mid-level jerkoffs who desperately want to climb up in that honey jar; and working class suckers who have been convinced by wealthy right-wing pundits that mega-banks and businesses should operate unchecked. Which one is that uncle who you fought with at your 4th of July barbecue?

 

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