Not enough booze!

Is it just me, or doesn’t it seem odd that the top three presidential campaigns would spend only $6,600 on alcohol?

The Politico reported that during the past three months, while candidates were cris-crossing the nation hosting fancy events and spreading their gospel, three of the top campaigns (whatever that means) spent, on average, $2,200 on booze. That’s $733 dollars a month! That’s not even two haircuts for John Edwards!

What?! Anyone that’s ever been to a wedding with an open bar knows the cost of drinks can make the bride’s father broke in a matter of minutes. Or anyone that’s visited a liquor store with a college student (ahem, cough cough…) knows that a fun night drinking with friends can quickly surpass the cool $100 mark. So how can these political boozers and schmoozers get away with spending so little?  

Of course good ole’ Italian paisano Rudy Giuliani is reported to have spent almost $4,000 on booze during the past three months. Atta’ boy Rudy!  With all your questionable hiring practices (see Vitter case), maybe your campaign staff needs a little extra somethin’ somethin’ to get through the day (there’s nothing a little whiskey can’t cure).

Overall, you ask me, these “front runners” are spending far too little on booze. If Romney McMormon can spend $8,000 this quarter on coffee and $2,000 on DirecTV service, surely more can go toward the local packie. There's no doubt Ted Kennedy’s office spends more than $733 a month on booze; just look at how much fun he has! (Remember, last night was the 38th anniversary of Chappaquiddick.)

Now that McCain’s campaign is dead in the water, maybe he can use whatever campaign cash he has left to buy his interns some well-earned Grey Goose and throw a real campaign cocktail party.

--Jamie Bologna

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