Clothes for Literary Types


Let's just put it out there: I have been known to shop at ModCloth, the cloying web boutique that sells clothes to college girls unsure of what to wear to indie rock shows. I was trawling their blouses to find something nice to wear to a literary event, and I stumbled across the Lit Mag Editor Tunic (pictured above). Here's the description:

As the Editor-in-Chief of your own indie literary magazine, most of your time is spent reading poems and short stories sent to you from writers from around the world. Sometimes though, your labor of love requires your professional presence. Whether you’re hosting a reading, selling issues at a book fair, or moderating a panel at the local college, turn to this classic striped button-down for a well-read style. . .Keep a few business cards in the front chest pocket in case you run into you’re [sic] favorite poet at the writing conference. Easily style an expert outfit when you add a red belt to this loose-fitting shirt, blouse it over some slim-fit tapered trousers, and make the most of your face time with some literary banter!

LOLOLOLOL. Also, Jesus! Now you know how Lit Mag Editors afford their Lit Mag Editor Lifestyles: by desingning $50 tunics for websites for college girls. (I have it right, right?) Hey, Modcloth: here are some more suggestions for clothes. Please make checks payable to Eugenia A. Williamson, Literary Editor. 

First-year Lit Grad Student Blazer |This blazer will take you from long afternoons weeping at the library to nights discussing Walter Benjamin over Mason jars filled with box red. The contrasting elbow patches have special steel reinforcements to block those attempting to crawl over you for TA positions. The front pocket is the perfect size for a pack of Galoises, a book of matches, and the stem of your new, oversize glasses.  

Bitter, Aging Book Seller Sweater | As a bitter, aging bookseller, you spend your days dealing with people who only remember the color of the cover or want that book that was on the NPR. Whether you're shelving the latest Dean Koontz or trying to get a loony to stop talking to you, turn to this loose-fitting sweater. Its generous pockets provide ample room for pens or a flask.

Alt-Newsweekly Writer Skirt | Though your male counterparts can wear promo t-shirts, jeans, and a blazer to the office, press conferences, rock shows, and events with free alcohol, you, my friend, need to wear a skirt sometimes. This adorable number carries you through from day to night -- the taupe cotton hides stains, and the hidden elastic in the waist lets you hunch painlessly over your desk when you're working through lunch. Bonus: the poplin weave allows for infrequent washing.

Public Radio Producer Socks | You're buttoned-down behind the scenes and your work clothes reflect it. Flash your individualism in this one small slice between the hems of your always belted dress pants and your sober dress shoes. Multicolored stripes of wildly varying hues and widths will take the sting off kowtowing to your ego-ridden host for the umpteenth time.(courtesy of an anonymous public radio type).

Freelance Writer's Home Office Caftan/ Nightgown | Go from bed to desk without wasting precious minutes! Comfortable enough for sitting 16 hours in front of a computer while juggling multiple low-paying gigs assigned to you by assistant editors half your age and chasing down unpaid invoices. Fetching faux sweatshirt top looks, to passerby, like actual clothes if they catch a glimpse of you through the window. Comes in cat hair tan. coffee stain brown, and cold-sweat gray. (courtesy of @soupandbread)

Add your LitClothes(TM) to the comments below!

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