Image via the NY ObserverOh, GOD. Oh god oh god oh god. I have so many conflicting thoughts and emotions swirling over Leon Nefakh's latest 3-page New York Observer profile. It's about Sloane Crosley, a 29-year-old Vintage book publicist who had a collection of personal essays published this past April. First of all, she really does seem geniune and loveable. And yes, I would like to be her friend. But there are secrets beneath the surface:“She’s a pretty damn genuine person,” said Curbed’s Lockhart Steele, who was a longtime managing editor of Gawker. “[Sloane is unique in this way] especially among media people. You deal with so much bullshit from people and so much bullshit from publicists trying to tell you this is great or this is the next great American novelist.” Ms. Crosley, by comparison, cuts to the chase with editors and writers, and conscientiously tailors her pitches to suit their tastes. In other words, where publicists of all kinds—for movies, books, socialites and dentists—have created a giant wall of noise, Ms. Crosley manages to be heard above the racket, recommending her writers and titles to others with a gentle caress instead of a swift kick.The first thing I did when I read this was forward it around to some book publicist girls I know, and this is what one of them wrote back: "I felt awful and small and like my hair wasn’t shiny enough." It's true. NOBODY's hair is naturally that shiny! Sloane, what product do you use? Please share. And look up there at her skinny jeans and boots! It makes my heart weep. But more importantly...How? In what way? Does she gently caress? Instead of kick? The editors and newspaper people? Who hate being harrassed by publicists? And how? Is she so confident? And How Is It Possible To Not Be Nervous when you're hanging out with Candace Bushnell, and, um, Paula Froelich? As a former book publicist who was kept awake at night wondering whether the hundreds upon hundreds of book editors I called and emailed routinely about my authors would ever get back to me, I am officially obsessed with her life and am desperate to know more. She's like... the Cory Kennedy of literary publicity! Maybe? What do her pitch letters look like? Do they contain magical spells? Is there anyone out there who can forward me one? Tell me everything and more.