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CLICK TRACKS: Snoop in the front seat, Gaga in the Wang, plus a pungent whiff of MTV's "Jersey Shore"



We may be stretching it a bit here to call this item "music" news, but this is just too damn good to pass up. Tonight, MTV (hey, they used to play music, way back in the dark ages when Pluto was still a planet) debuts their latest reality train wreck, "Jersey Shore," which would appear to be a spin-off of their ever-popular mini-doc "True Life: I Have a Summer Share." Tune in for everything you need to construct your own Guido Starter Kit: fake tans, H.R. Giger abs, intermittent fits of roid rage, and more hair gel per episode than Uncle Jesse's entire Full House run. Watch the trailer, in which one particularly greased-up guido may have inadvertently coined the show's tag line: "If hating is your occupation, I probably have a full-time job for you."



You can keep your tree-lighting ceremonies and your Cyber Mondays -- for us, the holiday season doesn't start until Bob Dylan throws on a Santa hat and a filthy wig, and plays deranged carnival barker to what appears to be a Christmas party for meth-blasted Eastern European hillbillies. Hence, we're thrilled to see this polka-spiked "Must Be Santa" re-make ... which, come to think of it, actually sounds a hell of a lot like the "International Friendship Song." But in Dylan's video, the friendship stops right around the 1:50 mark, when an overstimmed reveler goes bugfuck nuts, smashing up the place and then diving out the window while a grinning Saint Nick looks on. Indeed, we suggest everybody must get stoned before viewing.


Photo: Mike Coppola/FilmMagic

Forget Monsters of Folk. Looks like the next big thing in super groups is a major collaboration between members of Fall Out Boy and Anthrax. Pause for weepy emo kids and hardcore thrash-metal enthusiasts worldwide to put aside their differences to utter a collective "Um, what?"



Just when we thought GaGa had nothing left up her ginormous sparkly sleeves, she proved us wrong. On Tuesday night, she kicked off her "Monster's Ball" tour right here in Boston, at the (ahem) Wang Theatre. (Read Daniel Brockman's review here.) Her A/V assault included a barrage of bizarre videos, which projected onto Ga as she shimmied her way across the stage. Sez Spin: "In one video image Gaga wore a white pleated dress, echoing Marilyn Monroe’s famous attire in The Seven Year Itch; then, the sight of a sickly young girl sticking her fingers down her throat and vomiting was superimposed across the singer." Considering that the lyrics to "Bad Romance" alone had the Boston Public Health Commission's bowties a-twirl in outrage, we can't wait to read their report on this one.




Pete Doherty
managed to reduce a recent European gig to uber-shambles when he attempted to ingratiate himself to a German audience by singing a time-honored national tune. Props to Doherty for the effort (learning to sing in Deutsch when you can hardly speak English due to a lifetime on the pipe must be no small feat); unfortunately, the song of choice just happened to be a well-known Nazi anthem. Whoops!



Ever wondered what it might be like to have Snoop Dogg riding shotgun on your next gin & juice run? Of course you have. Wonder no more: VoiceSkins has made that particular pipe dream a reality for TomTom GPS users ... sort of. Download the new skin, and Snoop's voice will give you turn-by-turn directions to the nearest liquor store (and other points of interest), while always reminding you to "keep it 'G,' ya d-i-g?" No word yet if he has any helpful hints about executing three-point tizzurns.



The latest name in music to jump on the domestic abuse bandwagon is, allegedly, Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood. According to the AP, Wood was arrested last night for attacking his girlfriend, 20-year-old Russian model Ekaterina Ivanova. We're not sure what's more loathsome: the crime, or the fact that a barely-not-teenaged model is dating 62-year-old Wood, whose leathery visage could easily challenge Keith Richards for title of Face Most Likely to Haunt Your Dreams.



Thought Weezer Snuggies were weird/pointless/awesome/depressing/insert adjective of choice here? Brace yourself. The brilliant minds over at Snuggie -- who just might be getting ahead of themselves here -- have come out with their newest way to let the world know what crew you run with whilst keeping it cozy. If your iPod contains more Weezy than Weezer, you should probably get yourself their latest offering: the "Snugg Life" Snuggie. Because nothing says you're street like a cuddly blankie with sleeves.

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