On the off chance that you haven't been reading Lil' Wayne's fantacular new blog for ESPN.com -- which once again proved that Weezy is the king of the internets -- allow us to learn you. In his latest jawn, he speaks on Brett Favre ("He must know God's phone number. Come on. He's like 3900 years old and he threw for six touchdowns?"), Aaron Rodgers's shoulder ("I'm skeptical about it because when you say something like he has a sprained
shoulder, come on, who sprains their shoulder? I've never sprained my shoulder"), and how to watch football like a thug ("I have a wonderful chef and he cooks whatever I like. During the games it's
usually steak and lobster. I'm a steak and lobster dude").
He also gives Red Sox Nation a backhanded compliment: he's calling the World Series for the Devil Rays, but the man who has everything says his dream is still to get his hands on some leather in the shadow of the Green Monster:
"The Red Sox start the playoffs this week, and my thoughts are up in the air
about them because, honestly, their chances are up in the air. I'm so grateful
they made the post-season, but I'm kind of not sure about them. You know how you
can envision a team in the World Series? I don't see them. I close my eyes and I
see the Tampa Bay Rays. I'm a big emotion guy. I'm a heart guy, and I think they
all play that way. They have nothing to compare this to. Whether they make it to
the World Series or not, we're watching the first winning baseball team Tampa
Bay has ever fielded. That right there is always amazing, no matter who the team
is. I am actually trying to go down there to catch two games at the end of the
week if I can. Maybe sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' or throw out the first
pitch. You never know. You know they need somebody to throw the first pitch.
That would be my first major league game. My dream is still to catch one at
Fenway, of course."
First of all, Wayne, you gotta believe. Maybe you saw the game last night and have seen the light. But second of all, if you're serious about this, get at us -- we can absolutely make this happen. And we won't even make you duet with Peter Gammons. All we ask in return is that you come by the Phoenix offices (we're right around the corner!) and cut a quick freestyle over some Dropkick Murphys ish. Trust us, the streets will go triple-platinum on this and Scorcese will put it in a movie. Win-win-win.