The World's 100 Unsexiest Mp3s

So, how've you been?

We've been trying to work our way out from under the avalanche of site-clogging traffic generated by our blogging bretheren over at Slop Culture, who just had the internet version of a runaway, chart-topping, Beatle-mania-type hit single. A ridiculous little idea they had called "The 100 Unsexiest Men in America" -- a parody of lad-mag "100 sexiest women" features -- became a bona-fide internet meme. A couple weeks ago it got Farked. On Friday, our pops called us up to say that Dan Patrick was big-upping us on ESPN radio. Twenty minutes later Keith Olberman called up and wanted someone to come on his show. On Monday, Regis and Imus picked it up, as did the AP wire, which also made its own video to accompany it. Then MSN wrote a story about our story, and Yahoo put it on the homepage, and at some point yesterday "The 100 Unsexiest Men" was the #1 story on -- meaning it was more popular, for a few hours at least, than Tom Cruise's baby. Apparently we also made The View and Fox News, and some blogs, too. The Unsexiest Man in the World was hounded until he responded.

(Also -- small potatoes -- Google Images seems to think that OTD is hosting this ridiculously popular photo of Bow Wow at the American Music Awards, even though we aren't. So fuck it. Now we are.)

We had to ask our techies what "bandwidth" means -- we always figured it was some formula based on the girth of Tad's ass -- but apparently it is currently in short supply, which is why it has been taking us three hours to check email.

In any case, we had some long-winded rants to throw your way, but now we're gonna keep it short. Speaking of novelty memes, Peaches finally got round to giving it up the butt to "My Humps."  And some Financial District jokers ganged up to rap out against K-Fed, landing them in the Track. In related news, we just got the new Disco D baile-funk mixtape, "Gringo Louco," which is also the title of his new baile/riddim, which you can download from MySpace, albeit without the Spank Rock and Elephant Man cameos. Yes, Virginia, we too hear that Diplo is about fed up with this dude ripping him off. But anyone who has been listening to Mr. Pentz's unfuckwithable Mad Decent Podcast fire knows these guys aren't even in the same league. Latest NPR for the streets is up right right now: e-40/mia blend, gnarls barkley, future Bonde/Diplo tourmates Cansei Der Sexy's pre-subpop track "Wanna be Yr J-Lo," catchdubs-cosigned SNEEZ RIDDIM. (Aside: Cami was in charge of posting OTD birthday photos, but somehow she ended up dancing on top of bars halfway across town at night's end, and to top it off we had some email screwup, so for now you should treat Catch's photos as the official record.) Also, we finally got the Gnarls Barkley advance in today, so the OTD crew wasted a good two hours mulling that shit over. The concenus: DAAAAAAMN. (Record companies: don't blame us for the leak, that thing was torrented like way before last week, which we would've grabbed it back then except our Oink ratio is hella low right now, but we're gonna have to murk this shit eventually because this CD is totally unplayable on anything except a three-year-old discman we bought at CVS.) The rest of you who don't have Oink or unrippable Gnarls Barkley advances will have to make do with the videos for "Crazy": rorscarch test version and live on Top of the Pops insanity.

Here are some songs that are good for dancing with a girl or a boy in the hopes of fucking them:

DOWNLOAD: Nelly Furtado, "No Hay Igual" (mp3)
DOWNLOAD: Ali & Gipp, "Go Head" (mp3)
DOWNLOAD: Crime Mobb, "Rock Yo Hips" (mp3)
DOWNLOAD: Clipse, "Me Too" (mp3, via Faderblog like forever ago)
DOWNLOAD: New York Dolls, "Dance Like a Monkey" (mp3)

Yes, that last song is off the new New York Dolls album. It's really only sort of OK, which is so much better than we expected that we are practically jumping up and down.

Also, while we were pinned behind the firewall, our inner pimplefaced 16 year old starting wilding out so we went looking for the new Tool, AFI, and Thursday jawns. We love Maynard. He's like almost the Cam'ron and the Ghostface of alt-metal. Killing it for seven minutes, which if they want to go cock to cock with newkids like Mars Volta had better be the goddam shortest song on the album. 

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