R. Kelly: Beyond Plunderdome

Top 5 greatest lines in R. Kelly's "Out of the Closet":

Then I said
Imma pee on you
Drip, drip, drip
Oh, and that's all I could say was Oh
She said, I can't take no more
She screams!

Now I'm in this darkest jail
Then a voice yells, Good mornin' darlin
Shit, think, shit, think
Then a man comes out and kisses me

No, and that's all I could say was no
He says yes I says no he says yes
Then I say no I'm standing up
Then he's like, I'll fuck you up your crazy ass!

I said, I love you
Chuck said, I love you too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called him my sunshine

Then I said, There is something that I must
I don't like girls
I do like guys
Not just in jail
But all the time

LISTEN: No Film School, "R. Kelly's Out of the Closet" (mp3)

Yes, this is silly. But it's also a little teeny bit more than just silly. What's so great about this is the way NoFilmSchool takes advantage of the glitches in sexual identity that were hard-wired into the original "Trapped" narrative: with R. singing all the characters, both male and female, he'd put himself in the position of the song having homoerotic consequences when he performs it live. Go back and watch him do part 6 on the VMAs: R. does a wonderful mime right up to the moment when Chuck and Rufus have their big climactic kiss -- at which point he rolls his eyes and gives the audience a smirking double take. He might be singing a story about two men in love, but damned if he's gonna kiss another man -- even an imaginary other man -- on national television.

This kind of plunderphonia has been around since Burroughs, and is often employed by political radicals seeking to put funny words in famous people's mouths. Thanks to some Swedish guy, you can play along at home, too -- on "Let Them Sing It For You," famous singers sing your words, free! (Spotted via boingboing.)

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