Commencement speaker challenge!
Which Boston-area university nabbed the best commencement speaker?
Around the country, some colleges scored coups, while others' choices seem puzzling. Here's a round-up of some big names (thanks in part to the Chronicle of Higher Education's commencement-speaker database):
George W. Bush will offer some Katrina mea culpas by speaking at Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College at Perkinston; he'll also be at Oklahoma State University, the United States Merchant Marine Academy, and the United States Military Academy. His dad will address Tulane graduates (more Katrina guilt?). Funny lady Laura Bush is scheduled to speak at Roger Williams University in Rhode Island.
Hillary's doing the politically savvy home-state thing at Buffalo State College, Long Island University, and Genesee Community College, while Bill was chosen by Princeton students to speak at "Class Day."
Other presidential hopefuls who will be busy in May and June: Mark Warner, who will speak at not one but three graduation ceremonies, John McCain (Liberty University and Ohio State U. at Columbus), Wesley Clark (Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute), John Kerry (Kenyon), Joe Biden (Widener U.), and George Allen (James Madison U.).
(Did Evan Bayh, Mitt Romney**, Rudy Giuliani, and Bill Frist not get any invites?)
Joe Torre will scowl at Rider University graduates in New Jersey, but don't worry, Shonda Schilling will represent the Sox at Merrimack College in North Andover.
UPenn students aren't thrilled with their school's selection: Jodie Foster. (Other red carpet commencement speakers include Spike Lee at Kean U. in Jersey, and Billy Joel, who will give the graduation speech at Syracuse.)
(Note: Dr. Stephen Spielberg, who's speaking at New Hampshire's Lebanon College, is not same guy who directed Jaws. Nor is John Stewart, commencement speaker at Michigan's Lake Superior State University, host of the Daily Show.)
Some schools get stuck with real duds --- we feel sorry for York College seniors, who have to listen to Kenneth Starr, and Mississippi State University graduates, who'll hear from Trent Lott.
The luckiest grads of all? We think they're at Knox College in Illinois, where Stephen Colbert will speak on June 3 --- with gravitas, with dignity, with balls.
**Turns out Mitt's speaking at Coe College, located in guess what state --- Iowa.