If you're a journalist in the trenches, chances are you're too busy and too poor to attend (and your publisher is too poor to send you to) SXSW Interactive, the annual to-do where all the smart, well-funded bastards go to interact with other smart, well-funded bastards who can afford to think for five minutes about how to get us all out of this goddamn mess we're in.

Welcome to "Meet the Mayor," a segment in which we interview local Foursquare Mayors in their natural habitats.

Our Bad Ass Couch of Titanic Badassery
Maria "Masha" Gutarov

Out of all the mayors we've interviewed, you're the first to feed us. Why haven't they all done that?
‘Cuz they're cruel, cruel people.

Public transportation is a dirty endeavour. Convenience and positive environmental impact aside, once that bell sounds and the subway doors slide shut, you and your fellow passengers are temporarily encased in a hurtling Petri dish of microbial nightmares. Not a very romantic situation, but the intrepid researchers at Craigslist have taken up the task of empirically analyzing just how romantic a subway ride can get.