Four random caucasian MCs better than Asher Roth
By CHRIS FARAONE | July 7, 2009
Bekay |
In the home of Slaine, Esoteric, Sullee, Bomshot, Lyrical, and about 10,000 other pale MCs who can hang with brothers of all shades and styles, the notion of prolific whiteboys is hardly novel. Neither is it to anyone who's even vaguely familiar with the larger underground establishment (way below the world of Asher's Universal Motown distribution, not to mention Eminem or the Beasties), which has yielded far more than just Slug, Aesop Rock, Apathy, and the few others who usually grace Asher Roth sidebars. Here are four hella-nice Caucasians whom pedestrians might not know about but who make your favorite mainstream rappers sound like Shaq with a lobotomy.BEKAY | Highly influenced by such fellow Brooklyn bombers as Necro and Ill Bill, Bekay is an unrelenting dick-in-your-mom's-mouth nihilist with raucous breath control to match. Two years ago, he opened a Heltah Skeltah show in Boston and roofed the crowd without a hype man. His Horror Flick LP (Coalmine) was equally impressive, full of fright and battle-ready banter. Bekay's dramatic arrogance might catch up with him in the street, but on record it's ruthlessly delicious.
QWEL | In several regards, Qwel has been my favorite hip-hop artist for more than a year now. Discovering him was like finding a new author with a deep repertoire. In his decade-plus of rhyming, the Chicago poet has cut more than a dozen projects with subterranea's most revered producers. Just beware: Qwel is hardly for laypeople. In addition to weaving rap's most intricate scriptures, he's also got a Jesus streak, though it's the oddest form of idolatry ever uttered.
SUPERSTAH SNUK | Termanology's right-hand white man from nearby Haverhill, Snuk is the rare pasty MC who sounds black on record. I wouldn't hold it against him if his spit rang nasally, but it's definitely dope that it doesn't. In other perks that could benefit only rappers, Snuk has a toxic personal history and a lethal flow that could inspire jealousy in rivers. And when you consider his infamous "Cocaine Freestyle" — on which he promises to "blow the brains out the back of your cranium and laugh" — homeboy is also pretty rude for a white dude.
MC PAUL BARMAN | For all I know, Paul Barman quit rapping years ago and became a dentist in New Jersey. But I still take every opportunity to expose heads to Paullelujah, a 2002 comic opus produced entirely by Prince Paul. With such lines as "I'm advancing the art form/De-pantsing a fart storm/Some rappers just don't like thinking/I guess it's too hard for 'em," it's not only the smartest white-rap disc of all-time, it's also the funniest.
Related:
Raw brah, Freudian trip, A long time comin', More 
- Raw brah
"My experience in college was that blunts started killing my lungs. I had to switch to joints. I mean, I was smoking like five or six blunts a day."
- Freudian trip
Hip-hop is faker than Vince McMahon's business plan and tan combined. Pussy-whipped MCs who sling Whoppers rhyme about bagging blow and smacking ho's; even cats who actually do poison their communities exaggerate their hood credentials.
- A long time comin'
Says Slaine, "When I get high I want to get higher, and when I get low I just want to get lower. I can't seem to find that place in the middle."
- Get sprung
Between the packages that turn up on my Jamaica Plain doorstep and the envelopes that stuff my Phoenix mailbox, I have enough music to start a mixtape spot in Downtown Crossing.
- Aesop Rock
Sometimes I don’t have one goddamn clue what misanthropic underground hip-hop king Aesop Rock is talking about.
- Joe the rapper
"One thing I've learned is that if you write about reality, you'll never run out of material."
- The Big Hurt: Jacko solvent! Boyle swelling! Lupus dissed!
If you had your heart set on picking up a gently used chimp tuxedo or a suspicious child skeleton, you're outta luck
- Mass Movements | The Album
Imagine if you scouted Boston's pre-eminent hip-hop artists — from the grimiest coke-slinging corner cats to the roughest coke-sniffing bar rats — and teamed them up with virtually every underground MC who's made noise in the past three years.
- Review: David Dallas | Something Awesome
In the 1990s, every rap album had mellow bangers buried in the tracklist.
- Wu-Tang Clan's essential flavor
Fortune magazine once estimated that Michael Jordan has fueled our economy to the tune of $10 billion. Wu-Tang Clan are responsible for the careers of about that many MCs.
- Present perfect
For some hip-hop heads, artists like Mickey Factz represent everything that reeks in rap. Between his bypassing the rugged underground, blowing up on-line, and occasionally kicking Kanye-esque arrogance, he's an easy target for so-called purists.
- Less
Topics:
Music Features
, Entertainment, Hip-Hop and Rap, Lyrical, More
, Entertainment, Hip-Hop and Rap, Lyrical, Lyrical, Music, Underground Hip-Hop, Eminem, Shaquille O'Neal, Aesop Rock, Aesop Rock, Less
