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Review: Friday the 13th (2009)

A suspense-less rampage
By BRETT MICHEL  |  February 12, 2009
0.5 0.5 Stars

VIDEO: The trailer for Friday the 13th

Jason Voorhees's bloody hands have developed green thumbs. The touchy bastard has been hiding out in the woods bordering abandoned Camp Crystal Lake since June 1980's Friday the 13th, the night he witnessed the beheading of his beloved mass-murderer mother.

Never mind that mom was taking revenge on the camp counselors who were too busy fornicating to notice when Jason, a young camper with special needs, appeared to be drowning. Jason didn't die in that lake, and he overcame his hydrocephalic handicap to carry on the family tradition, hacking his way through 10 sequels-and-spinoffs' worth of horny teens. But in this reboot/reimagining of the original from producer Michael Bay and director Marcus Nispel (the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake), the hockey-masked killer (Derek Mears) doesn't seem much interested in mindless revenge.

No, dude! He's just overly protective of his mythical stash of weed, which requires killing, say, 13 potential tokers in a suspense-less rampage.

Related: In a Dream, Review: (500) Days of Summer, Review: The House of the Devil, More more >
  Topics: Reviews , Entertainment, Movies, Michael Bay,  More more >
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