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Round Deux: Tila Tequila is still looking for "the one"



I'm not very skilled at predicting things that could provide me with some form of material gain, like, say, the stock market. And I'm no fortune teller -- try as I did to memorize the palm-reading gift book I picked up in the Occult section of Barnes & Noble when I was 13, I don't have a fucking clue about my own future, and even less of an inkling about those who let me stare at the lines on their hands.

But I do get premonitions, sometimes, and when it comes to Tila Tequila, a tiny bisexual freak whose public persona has perplexed me ever since she started shaking ass on FUSE's Pants Off Dance Off, I tend to be right. When last I wrote about Tila and her Shot At Love scripted-reality dating shitshow, I knew in advance that one of the bachelors vying for her affections would wind up with a show of his own. Dominico, the "server" from Italia, just completed his search for a lady in That's Amore. And for round two, I'm betting that Tila is going to wind up with a lady instead of a dude (fair play, right?), and that this as-yet-unknown gal will launch an MTV career far, far bigger than Tila's. This will cause hair-pulling and teeth-gritting and gross displays of jealousy that will have the world watching -- er, or maybe just me! Perhaps, instead of a reality show, T's latest plus-one may, against all odds, actually stumble upon a few "real" acting gigs. Obvs, Tila's super-sensy about that sort of thing. As she told the News, one of the reasons she and last season's winner, Bobby, broke up in the first place was because:

"During the time when you shoot something like that, you really do fall in love. But then afterwards, the person you thought you fell in love with totally changes," said Tequila. "It was just unfortunate that he started showing me other sides of him, like telling me that he was meeting with agents and managers. That was kind of weird."
Agents? Managers? You mean he wasn't on the show just so he could get to second base? Oh, that Tila! If she weren't as dim and misguided as ever, I don't know what I'd do.

A Shot at Love II premieres tonight, Tuesday April 22, at 10 pm EST on MTV (where else?!)

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