Church of the Absurd
there. Are you fat? Unimaginative? Aggressively tacky? Maybe you're just plain awful.
All of the above? Are you looking to get hitched to someone with similar
attributes? Then has Pizza Hut got the Valentine's Day promo for
Just when we
thought that the world had run out of cheesy (GET IT?!) proposal stunts for
terrible people who love other terrible people, there's this. For just over a cool ten grand, you can pop the
question to your ladyfriend over a $10 box of grease that's
just a hair ahead of Dominos on the spectrum of gross foodstuff pretending to be pizza.
But the romance doesn't stop there. Talk about bang for your buck: class all the way, this package includes a "ruby red
ring," a fireworks display, flowers, and both a photographer and videographer (so you can
document the initial flash of horror and the subsequent creeping look of
resignation and resentment on your beloved's face with two mediums, for posterity and shit.) All
that plus a first class limo ride to the end of civilization. Because we're
pretty sure that's coming.
if you want to ensure this marriage ends in divorce, and/or a wife with a fat ass, why
don't you just save yourself the trouble and go to Jared.