They've suffered through the filming of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami. The hazmat team called in to clean up after season two of Jersey Shore only just left. And yet today, Bravo announced the
cast for The Real Housewives of
Miami, the seventh (!) installment of our shameful reality TV obsession.
Reeeally... haven't the good people of Miami gone through enough?!
news comes fresh off the heels of both a lackluster Atlanta
season and the supreme bitchfest that was the world's introduction to Camille
Grammer and the rest of the Beverly Hills housewives. More surprisingly is that
Bravo allowed its crew to travel all the way to the MIA mere months after one of
the largest man-made disasters oozed its toxic waste all over its shores,
threatening a crushing blow to the city's tourism industry. I am, of course,
referring to Snooki.
The Miami season, premiering February 22nd, will feature two women who share
the unofficial title of "Hottest NBA Wife": Christy Rice, clothing store owner
and ex-wife of Glen Rice, and the snarky and dominating Larsa Pippen. Poor
Scottie Pippen, always living in one shadow or another.
The cast also includes "Cuban Barbie" Alexia Echevarria,
executive editor of fashion and celebrity-focused Venue Magazine. A
self-proclaimed "older sister" to her two kids, let's hope Alexia has more luck
with her husband Herman (really?) than her look-alike, Elin Nordegren.
hailing from the media world is Marysol Patton, a divorcee who runs her own
lavish PR company and has a "seer" mother, known more for her spiritual guidance
than batshit craziness a la Allison DuBois apparently. Damn.
Rounding out the cast is the charitable and Obama-loving Lea Black and
Brazilian full-time mom Adriana DeMoura-Sidi. Coming off a bad breakup and
equipped with a bold personality and a passion for flirting, gossip topic
Adriana may just have the opportunity to usurp the "Most Hated Housewife" throne
from Queen Camille. One can only dream.
The Real Housewives of Miami definitely has large stilettos to fill, but with the right mixture of drama,
Botox, and Latina fieriness, they just might be able to compete with their
infamous predecessors. And who doesn't love watching rich, plastic people soak
up the sun on the beach while being trapped inside during a Snowpocalypse?