Why you should watch tonight's Jets-Patriots game with your laptop open

To the age-old tendency to watch a football game with the TV sound down and the radio sound up, the mavericks at FOOTBALLZ TALK have added the option of watching Monday Night Football with the TV sound down and your laptop sound up. Even though it is probably some techical violation of that thing they read at the beginning and end of every NFL broadcast, these dudez have spent the last two seasons doing for the NFL what MST3K did for bad movies. 

Tonight's JETS - PATRIOTS game is, for obvious reasons, the season highlight. For those of you who love football -- as well as those of you who hate it but will be forced to watch it -- we recommend going with the finest in alternative play-by-play. If you tune in tonight, you'll get a couple of Boston's strangest comedians riffing ecstatically for three hours. About what? Well, their weekly shotgun-blast of verbiage should give you an idea: 

IT IS ABOUT TIME, after last week's "football" "game"(a quick note about last week, how could a dude do this after growing up so close to this, does the Peace Candle of the World mean nothing to you Derek?) I needed to bathe my eyes in bactine, BUT TONIGHT WE HAVE SOME REAL FOOTBALL ON OUR HANDS. Look, I realize that football in the end is meaningless, my team winning will not move me out of my basement or buy me a new bathrobe to write these emails in or end my SADS or my sads ( sometimes you need to take off your cowboy hat and kneel down in your bedazzled jeans and barf out the sadness, thanks roommates for taking a picture of me at my weakest to remind me that we are all human) and that even the most famous person to play in this game (most people will probably think of this guy but I am pretty sure that Jets back-up Kellen Clemens will assassinate President Bristol Palin sometime in 2032) will be lost to the sands of time (I mean people don't even remember who assassinated McKinley, yes we did have a President McKinley, READ A BOOK PEOPLE (by the way it was Leon Czolgosz who, like Kellen, was into the run-and-shoot AND THE AWARD FOR MOST CONVOLUTED TERRIBLE JOKE COMBINING HISTORY, MURDER, AND SEM-OBSCURE COLLEGE OFFENSES GOES TO.... ME! I'D LIKE TO JUST SAY so everyone should calm down a little (even you and you), that being said THIS GAME IS GOING TO BE AWESOME AND WE (by that I mean Mac and Ken, I plan on keeping my monocle in tact all game) WILL PROBABLY SCREAM A LOT so adjust volumes accordingly.

This game is one that you wish was somehow being shown by NFL films live (instead of the awesomeness of this, we get guys that can't even sit right), two teams that don't like (not even on facebook) each other who are playing some of the best football of their respective seasons (well they Jets have been pretty lucky the last couple of weeks even if some of them don't think so) and the winner of the game will likely have the best record in the AFC and home field throughout the playoffs. THIS ONE IS A BIG DEAL NO-AH-DOY, but lets be real here, the Jets are kind of assholes, right? I've kind of come around on Rex Ryan (maybe it was this) but the rest of those dudes, ugh. Braylon Edwards (who does admittedly have a great beard, not quiet Freeway great but better than his football brethren, see how I avoided only comparing black-dude beards! JOURNALISM) is still mean to people from Cleveland and that is unforgivable (and this from someone who spent his only Maccabi  Games staying with snoozy Shaker Heights old people, oh the getting to 2nd base opportunities missed), Mark Sanchez is still not that great, and LaDanian Tomlinson still has a lame touchdown celebration

This Pats team is not all sweetness and light either, they still have a guy that did this and a coach who did this (and a couple of weeks ago committed a true crime against our eyes)  and a quarterback who has made some questionable endorsement choices (god help me for linking to the Track Girls, for those of you fortunate enough to live far far away from these evil harpies here is luckily brief (although I SWEAR IT FEELS LIKE A MILLION YEARS IN THERE) example of their "reporting") and these are a frighteningly accurate depiction of a lot of the fanbase. BUT WHO CARES THIS IS THE HOME TEAM AND MUCH AS YOU CANNOT PICK YOUR FAMILY, YOU CANNOT CHOOSE YOUR HOME TEAM UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE THIS GUY (FOR COMPARISON, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE THAT PATH)! AND TONIGHT THERE CAN BE NO IMPARTIALITY! THIS GAME WILL MOST LIKELY BE SUPER GOOD BUT THAT WILL NOT PREVENT STUPID THINGS FROM HAPPENING FOR US TO MAKE FUN OF! DON'T WORRY WE WILL TALK JUST AS DUMB AS USUAL! BUT WITH MORE DUMB INTENSITY! TUNE IN! 8:30PM EST! SOME OF US WILL HAVE EATEN CHILLI! WITH MEAT IN IT! I WONDER HOW THAT WILL TURN OUT!


The Footballz Team 



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