VIDEO: Pat Robertson says earthquake is God's payback for Haitians' "pact to the devil."

Ah, Christian charity. Doubtless there are God-fearing folks doing good works in this hour of need. And then there's PAT ROBERTSON. With the aid number up on the screen, the 700 Club host launched into an epic diversion on the roots of how the Haitians came to be "cursed." Let's go to the transcript (or just click on the clip above):

ROBERTSON: And, you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, "We will serve you if you will get us free from the French." True story. And so, the devil said, "OK, it's a deal."

And they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other.

Satan could not be reached for comment. A spokesperson for the Lord of Darkness claimed he was busy phone-banking for Scott Brown. In the meantime, we refer your attention to previous installments of Pat Robertson's Fundamentalist Crazybrains History Book: like the time he blamed Hurricane Katrina and 9/11 on legalized abortion.

In other news, Rush Limbaugh took racist potshots at Obama for daring to call a press conference on Haiti: "Did he apologize for America?"

Non-hateful organizations collecting funds for Haiti include Wyclef Jean's YeleHaiti and the Red Cross. For mobile giving, text "Yele" to 501501 to donate $5, or "Haiti" to 90999 to donate $10.