I'll spare you the didactic spiel about why it's acceptable for intelligent folks to watch "Jersey Shore" for non-masturbatory purposes.
JUST HEAD TO THIS NICKNAME GENERATOR AND GET YOUR GUIDO HANDLE
Mine is "The Sausage Party." I was hoping for something better - maybe "Italian Ice" - but I'll take what I can get. Let's just hope it doesn't stick.
I'd also like to take this moment to make a prediction: The Situation will have his own spin-off show sometime in 2010. Sorry, humanity.