Full disclosure here: In case you haven't noticed, Puma has bought giant ads in the Phoenix for the past two weeks. Furthermore, I own several pairs of Pumas, and have romanced South Floridian women three times my age, who I believe they’re calling “pumas” these days. With that out of the way, I can commence with ethically informing you that I expect to be a drooling mess aboard Puma City for the next three weeks. From the debut Roy Barboza bender this Saturday to the May 16 toast when Puma Ocean Racing leaves for Galway, the Fan Pier will be my go-to Xanadu. For those who missed the back story in today’s Globe, Puma City is essentially a stack of shipping containers melted into the planet’s sweetest floating retail store/entertainment complex. The architect would likely slap me for that cheap description, but I’m sure I’ll gush after I glimpse. Since the full schedule of events is available on Puma’s Facebook Page, I did you all the favor of singling out parties that music fans and/or alcoholics might enjoy. In other words: here’s everything happening in the next week that involves little to no exercise.PUMA City Opening Night featuring DJ Roy BarbozaSaturday, April 25th / 9:00 pm – 12:00 amI might be setting my standards a little high here, but I’m expecting this to be kind of like the video for "Big Pimpin’".Via Matta Presents Industry SundaysSunday, April 26th / 7:00 pm - closeAnybody who’s ever worked in the service industry knows damn well that there’s no better crowd of proud degenerates to party with. Especially if you like getting drunk and laid. PUMA City Happy HourTuesday, April 28th / 4:00 – 7:00 pmHappy hour. In Boston. Nuff said!Happy Hour at PUMA City BarFriday, May 1st / 4:00 – 7:00 pmI said, “Nuff said!”The Other Side Café Presents Goldsprint Throwdown, as part of PUMA iCycle WeekendFriday, May 1st / 8:00 pm – 12:00 am Fine - this one involves a little bit of exercise, but it also combines booze and competition, which is always a good thing. Hearthrob vs ThunderdomeSaturday, May 2nd / 9:00 pm – 12:00 amThese cats threw a ripper at the Greek Club on Green Street in Cambridge, so just imagine what they’ll do with this spot. I’m predicting here that this will be the bash that has heads waiting in long lines.Keep checking the Phlog for updates on the happenings around Fan Pier. Next week I’ll be entering a Qdoba burrito eating competition, while the FNX Sandbox guys will be broadcasting live from the water. And don’t forget: Puma City shall be like a cruise, which means that - despite our exchanging numbers - I probably won’t call after the party pulls out of here in three weeks.