"I believe that all women have the right to kiss my ring."
I gagged over a Page One story in The Globe this morning about Cardinal-Archbishop Sean O’Malley and
his stubborn pro-life views. Apparently, he’s excited about Obama but worried
that the president-elect will open drive-thru abortion clinics at all major
This nauseated me
for two reasons: 1 – This is the newspaper that busted hundreds of O’Malley’s
homeboys molesting children not too long ago, yet they still offer these
hypocrites a voice. And 2 – I’m always boggled when alleged virgins are given
pedestals from which to speak ex-cathedra about sex and procreation.
What’s next –
does The Globe plan to run a feature about Chuck Turner’s foreign policy
musings? How about Clark Rockefeller’s thoughts on child-rearing, or Sal
DiMasi’s take on political transparency?
This piece is a
must-read for all comedy fans, as it begins with O’Malley tearfully reflecting on
his march for civil rights in Washington.
I don’t care if he wrote the “I Have a Dream” speech; as we saw during the
fight over gay marriage here in Massachusetts,
O’Malley hardly believes that all humans are created equal.
O’Malley alleges that Planned Parenthood is a racist organization, and calls it
“ironic” that Obama is “possibly in [their] pocket.” I hope that every black
and Latino woman who has ever been aided by PP writes a brutal
letter to this asshole.
Then comes my
favorite part: O’Malley congratulates himself for allowing pro-choice Senators
Kennedy and Kerry to receive communion. News flash Catholics: These are
intelligent men. They don’t actually believe in transubstantiation, and if they
didn’t need your superficial support to dupe ignorant Christ-fearing voters,
they would never walk into a church again.
people have known for quite some time that O’Malley is a sick and dangerous
man. That includes Globe editors, who should be especially aware of what a horrid
bunch of scoundrels these bishops truly are. Enough already – it’s
unnecessary to pander to the few crazies around here who still believe in this nonsense.
Don’t get me
wrong – the Catholic Church is absolutely entitled to its position on abortion.
But only after it adopts every bastard on the planet and its leadership opens
the doors of their hideously ostentatious buildings to the thousands of
children who are sleeping on the street this winter.
And O’Malley –
if somehow this reaches you – please don’t discount my opinion by saying that
you’ll pray for me. Just grab a Hustler, dim the lights, round up some
tadpoles, and chill the fuck out. But go ahead and take away my right to eat
Jesus if you really want to. Jesus can eat me.