When I was 11 years old,
I begged and begged my parents for a Talkboy for Christmas so I could
be like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone 2, who predominately used his device to
commit credit card fraud. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't too long after
winter break that my asshole 5th grade math teacher swiped it and locked
away in his desk, never to be seen again.