OK, so check it, I got the lowdown: Jenelle (or Chelsea, or maybe it was Kailyn, no wait Leah) was having a wicked huge fight with Brent or Keifer or Bobby or whatever because he was a really bad dad even though he said he'd, like, be there when the baby arrived (editor's note: evs city, bro, u ain't no man), and then there was this court case and she went on probation and couldn't smoke w33d and faced rehab but took part in the Mom Walk at the mall anyway and her friends were, like, super supportive and all "your a good mom, Jenelle (or Chelsea or Kailyn or Leah)" and she really wanted to just get her education and finish school despite being mad preggers and provide a good life to her babychild (is Sunbeam a sweet middle name? Editor's note 2: yes, yes it is), and maybe she could even move out the trailer one day, but Corey or Robby just wants to play video games and wear his old-ass hoodie and text his friends and sit there with his jaw hanging slightly open and it's sooo frustrating and well -- ahhhhhhhhhh *shotgun blast to the face*
N-E-WAI-DOE, deep breath...
In other, more important news, MEAN CREEK is supposed to be heard on MTV's totes real "Teen Mom 2" season finale tonight, soundtracking the trials and tribulations of nubile baby bumps (and the men who don't seem to really love them) in a few true-life communities stretched out across the woefully landlocked flyover states.
Maybe it already was on and I missed it, I really don't know what the fuck I just watched for the past 40 minutes. And my head hurts, so I'm not watching the last hour or so. But I'm definitely always wearing a condom, 24/7, starting right now, even if I'm not even getting freaky at the moment. That's tonight's lesson. Thank you, MTV.
But yeah, "No One Has To Know" was to be aired during this "Teen Mom 2" episode, a fine selection off Mean Creek's 2011 Hemophiliac EP.
"No One Has To Know?" -- oh Chelsea (or Jenelle, or Kailyn or Leah), we think someone does.
We... think... someone... does...
This ain't prom night, sweetie.