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HOMEWORK: Assignment #3: Audrey Ryan

 

1. HOMEWORK

OK, so we're a little late with this November installment of Homework -- but give our guest pupil Audrey Ryan extra credit: She's been touring her passport off, and upon return, had only days to pull her assignment together. Then turkey happened. You know how it goes. In any case, Ms. Ryan spent her holiday reflecting on the season and humming a lovely new Thanksgiving ditty into being, and for this -- and because we cannot listen to "Alice's Restaurant" again -- we were happy to wait. 

2. THE RULES

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, and in tribute to the absence of rules encountered by the Pylgrymms as they embarked into the wylde, we kept it simple. The song must:

  1. expresses thirty (30) instances of gratitude, one for every day of the month
  2. be rad

3. GRADING

Ms. Ryan's song is a chipper holiday shout-out to Mr. Howard Zinn, whose People's History of the United States helped enlighten her to the true meaning of Thanksgiving. You know, the one where Columbus "slayed the shit out of some Indians / and made the rest into his minons" and the only thing that can distract us from the horror is stuffing? With all of the human skins and lopped-off limbs, this is not exactly the type of thing you want little Dakota (or whatever) singing for that family at the dinner table in lieu of grace, but damn it's catchy!

ALSO: Though we counted a few times, and believe we only heard 29 actual instances of the word thank (including within the word Thanksgiving), Ms. Ryan's fortitude and skill in the face of these burdensome holidays and those insipid milligrams of tryptophan that are their calling card has moved us all into a state of profound empathy. So whatever. 

Final Grade: A

4. THE SONG

Dig in.

DOWNLOAD: Audrey Ryan, "People's History" [mp3]


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