Since you'll likely still be recovering from your first official brain-melting hangover of 2009, we'd like to spare you any additional paralyzing shocks on New Year's Day. So prepare yourself: if you happen to catch the halftime show at the Rose Bowl on January 1, that really will be the USC Marching Band performing "Almost Easy," by so-cal emo-speedmetal titans Avenged Sevenfold. Weird, right? Like, who knew there were still kids who played actufal instruments instead of just jacking into Rock Band like the rest of us?
Seems like a very tiny deal, no? After all, it's already been established that jocks and emo-metal go together like . . . erm . . . college football players and date rape? Ah, but with this small, nationally-televised gesture, the (frankly tiresome) practice of marching bands kinking up their usual repertoire with a shrill blast of keg-metal has, in fact, come full circle. After all, if it wasn't for the USC Spirit of Troy Marching Band, there would be no "Tusk." So in tribute to this pivotal moment in marching-band history, we give you the metal and emo wing of the Band Dork Hall of Fame.
1. AVENGED SEVENFOLD, "ALMOST EASY"USC Marching BandA letdown, but only because we expected to see the majorettes form the sign of the beast. Or at least spell out the Hot Topic logo.
2. PARAMORE, "CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH" [CLICK TO VIEW: "EMBEDDING DISABLED," ETC]
Johnstown High School Marching Big Red BandWe know, we know -- but think how much better this is than watching high-school ROCK bands cover it.
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, "THE BLACK PARADE"
Union Grove High School Marching BandIbid.
RADIOHEAD MEDLEYPride of Arizona Marching BandSounds like "Kid A," but we're not sure the resemblance is intentional.
JIMMY EAT WORLD, "THE MIDDLE"
UC Davis Aggie Marching Band
GREEN DAY, "BASKET CASE"
Alabama University Million Dollar Band
METALLICA, "MASTER OF PUPPETS"
Callalen Marching Band
Everybody does "Enter Sandman" these days. These dudes take on the old speedmetal Metallica . . . and put the ass back in brass.
BON JOVI, "LIVIN' ON A PRAYER"Notre Dame Marching Band It's not just Notre Dame doing "Livin' on a Prayer" at Pitt, dude -- it's Notre Dame doing "Living on a Prayer" with Jon Bon in the audience!
OZZY OSBOURNE, "CRAZY TRAIN"
Ohio University Marching 110
LED ZEPPELIN, "BLACK DOG/KASHMIR"
Michigan Marching Band
FLEETWOOD MAC, "TUSK"Fleetwood Mac with the USC Spirit of Troy Marching BandThe stunt that started it all -- all the more amusing if you pencil in all your favorite Behind the Music anecdotes between the frames.