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Kings of Rock


Tsar photo: Jim Lowney

1. Go ahead and groan, but these kids have been around for a minute, and what with outsourcing and all, we always get patriotic-like when some fashionable American band capitalizes on all the hard work (and hard rock) that our Swedish bretheren have suffered through all these years. We rocked the Tsar advance in the Echo for our girls (ages: 2, 5) and they wrecked shop on their car seats like it was Kidz Bop or some shit. Tsar is definitely for the children.

Verdict: pure genius.

Stream a little stream: Tsar, "Band, Girls, Money"

2. What's with all the good rawk bands these days taking the titles of deposed royalty? Skeptics take note: Louis XIV did the damn thing last night at MidEast. First words out of dude's mouth were "bang a gong," but top highlight wasn't their straight-up T-Rex homage ("Letter to Dominique") or even the single -- but, instead, the non-album track "The Grand Apartment," which was fifteen kinds of Bon Scott goodness. Afterwards, we grilled their manager on why that song ain't on Best Little Secrets, and he admitted it had taken him a while to realize it wasn't a cover. "I'm not as up on the AC/DC catalogue as I should be," he sulked. Secondary highlight: hearing "Carrot juice, I wanna squeeze you away until you bleed," while a tall glass banged her head on my right.

3. Back when local crypto-booty selectors Plunge Into Death were just getting off the ground, cartoonist-turned-indie-rocker-turned-Miami-bass-fiend Jeff Czekaj emailed us looking for Anquette's mid-'80s hit "Janet Reno," from waaaaay back when Anq was running with 2 Live Crew and Janet had just become a Panhandle baby-mama hero for lowering the boom on deadbeat dads. Now the rest of you can hear it thanks to Fluxblog.

Anquette, "Janet Reno"

After downloading that, you NEED TO go here to listen to Czekaj -- a/k/a Mark E. Moon -- turn Cassette, U.V. Protection, Big Digits, and Squids into the Cambridge/Slummerville/Jay-Pizzle megamix of the year.

4. Our boy Nick gets the big scoop: Karen O left for a bag of leaves.
5. Stop the presses: Axl fails to show up for tiny club gig.
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