^{Concept art for Boston Dynamics' LS3}

In an uncertain technological future, it's nice to know we can depend on one thing: that the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) will always be into some seriously heavy shit. Responsible for such sinister-sounding past endeavors as the Sea Shadow and the MQ-1 Predator, DARPA permanently resides on the cutting edge.

^{What happens if Hognet becomes self-aware this Tuesday}

In the spirit of the season, PETA have momentarily put aside their paint-slinging and nudity-exploiting, opting to set their sights on a new cause: freeing Punxsutawney Phil from a life of enslavement and untold horrors by replacing him with -- wait for it -- an animatronic rodent replica