If you're CNBC, how do you respond to angry allegations that you don't practice serious financial journalism?

Obviously, you stick AP's story on the recession-induced boom in adult-entertainment careers (but only for women!) on your front page, and whip up a complimentary slideshow of the best-selling adult DVDs of all time

Today's presidential must-read: a sharp piece by the AP's Glen Johnson that examines John McCain's deeply ambivalent relationship with Washington, D.C. The whole story is good, but the lede is pure genius:

John McCain embraces and expels Washington like an accordion player belting out a song.

Squeeze in and he touts his vast knowledge of the capital city.